1 definition by Captain Samoa

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Left 4 Dead is a co-op first person shooter developed by Turtle Rock Studios, which was purchased by Valve during development. The game is set during the aftermath of an apocalyptic pandemic outbreak in Pennsylvania. There are four playable characters within the game:

Louis - a junior system's analyst at his company's IT department. PILLS HERE!

Bill - a former Green Beret (which explains the hat) and 'Nam vet. The leader of the group and has infinite knowledge of combat.

Francis - a tattoo covered biker who tends to be the one to save your ass whenever it's on the line for some reason.

Zoey - a college student and horror film enthusiast. She is the only female of the group which leads to weird moments.

Each campaign, the survivors begin with a M1911 Pistol, which has an unlimited amount of ammo; later on in the campaign, the player can require another pistol, which equals what? Dual pistols beeotch. The pistol is the only weapon you can use when you are incapacitated. Yeah, that really helps. Also when starting out, there will be a table with ammo, med kits, pipe bombs, molotov cocktails and the choice between a pump-action shotgun or an Uzi. Later on you can get more advanced weapons like an automatic shotgun, a hunting rifle, and an assault rifle.

These campaigns have names, No duh. In each campaign, the survivors have to get to a safe house or room, whatever. The goal is to get to an extraction point, where you will receive rescue albeit from an airplane, a boat, a helicopter, etc. Before being rescued, the A.I. Director, who controls when infected attack or not, will send a shitload of infected and special infected to fuck you up. This usually is bearable, as long as the team dumbass doesn't wander off.

Death Toll - a small town and countryside setting, culminating at a dock house.

No Mercy - an urban setting and hospital setting, culminating at a hospital skyscraper helipad.

Dead Air - an airport setting, culminating at the landing runway of the airport.

Blood Harvest - a farm setting, culminating at a farm house. This is the hardest campaign in the game, hands down.

People tend to mistake the enemies for zombies. They aren't zombies, they're infected, but hey, whatever floats you're boat.

Infected - a regular "zombie" or infected, whatever.

Horde - a huge ass group of infected, which are attracted to loud noises and bright lights. Which means DON'T shoot the fucking cars with alarms and DO throw the pipe bomb.

Special Infected:

Boomer - special infected who is fat and vomits all over you, which attracts a horde. Whenever you kill him, his fatass explodes, getting blood all over you.

Smoker - special infected who can be heard miles away because of his horrendous cough. His tongue is like a thousand feet long and tries to choke yo bitch ass with it. When killing this enemy, he just vanishes into smoke.

Hunter - special infected with a liking to blue hoodies. The hunter has a distinct shriek, and can jump high into the air and pounce your ass.

Witch - special infected who is a crazy ass bitch. You can tell whenever you are near her, because she is crying. DO NOT be so stupid to believe that she is human. If she is disturbed, she can incapacitate you with one hit. So don't fuck with her, unless you plan on killing her with one shot. What's more fucked up is that in L4D2, she will be able to walk.

Tank - special infected who appears to have taken way too much fucking steroids. He's about over 10 feet tall and always seems to be able to pull concrete out of the ground and throw it at you, even though you could be fighting him on grass, but he'll magically be able to pull concrete out of the ground. He can also punch your ass halfway across the map. You can't avoid him, so get an automatic weapon out and unload on his ass.
Zoey has disturbed the Witch

Players: Son of a bitch, who is playing as Zoey? YOU DUMBASS

Left 4 Dead
by Captain Samoa July 12, 2009

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