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2 definitions by Capt. Spankee Magoo

 
1.
Cockney rhyming slang to call someone a moron. Jack of clubs is a card and card rhymes with tard.
Oi! Fix your mince pies on the jack of clubs who spilled a britney on his adams.
by Capt. Spankee Magoo June 22, 2009
 
2.
The act of rubbing feces on your face to make a mask and giving oral sex with a piece of candy in your mouth.
Do you have any jolly ranchers? I'm about to give someone a mexican halloween. Also I need feces.
by Capt. Spankee Magoo October 29, 2009