4 definitions by Auld simp

crappiato

A middle class version of the McShit. Dropping a turd in a coffee shop toilet on the (completely false) pretence that you're planning to buy a coffee afterwards.

James: Why are we going in here? You want a muffin or something?

Chris: No chance. I'm just ordering a crappiato

James: You want any pastries with that?

Chris: Erm...

by Auld simp December 16, 2015

crappiato

Middle class version of a McShit. Dropping a turd in a coffee shop toilet on the (false) basis that you're going to buy a drink immediately afterwards.

James: Why you going into Costa bro? Want a coffee?
Chris: No mate, I'm ordering a crappiato and getting out fast!

by Auld simp December 16, 2015

Wardrobe creep

The gradual yet unstoppable process by which your wife or girlfriend's clothes take over your wardrobe. It often begins by the male partner naiively agreeing that he will temporarily host a single garment because of a short term capacity issue in the female wardrobe. From this point on the male no longer has control of his wardrobe.

Becky: Darling, I'm just putting my long dress from Kirsty's wedding in your wardrobe - I've run out of hangers in mine. Is that ok?
Chris: Of course, go ahead
(Six months later, and the effects of wardrobe creep are clear)
Chris: Why is my wardrobe full yet I only own two items in it?

by Auld simp May 24, 2013

Lit and run

To come up in the function, get seriously lit, and do one within a short period of time.

Derek: Man, where’s Chris at? He was slaying it just now!
Mabel: Guess he left already.

Derek: Somebody should the 5-0 - it’s a lit and run situation

by Auld simp January 24, 2018