4 definitions by Anne Observer

Top Definition
A British politician, and member of the Conservative party. Proved an utterly ineffectual Opposition Leader against the fascist New Labour government of Tony Blair.

There is "Something of the night" about him.. he looks as if he sleeps in a coffin by day and emerges at night, hissing, to suck the blood of the living.

Which he probably does.
Michael Howard is a vampiric entity, who must have fresh virgin blood to survive.
#conservative #labour #vampire #night #opposition
by Anne Observer June 07, 2006
Charles Clarke was formerly the Home Secretary in Tony Blair's fascist New Labour Government. His physical appearance was that of a beetroot-faced commandant, while his policies explicitly stated that for reasons of national security, every person living in Britain needed to be fingerprinted,, investigated, and issued with an ID card which was to be carried at all times under threat of arrest and torture.

Under the excuse of a nationwide epidemic, the terrifyingly named Avian Flu (which had already killed 23 people throughout Asia and Europe) he planned to instigate a curfew and using the pretext of "inoculation" to insert into every British person a microchip similar to the ones used on domestic pets.

His department was also in charge of the criminal records unit which provided employers with details of the criminal records of the public. Sadly such was the ruthless inefficiency of this department that 3000 people ended up wrongly portrayed as criminals when they were in fact innocent.
He was also in charge of the department which released thousands of foreign murderers, rapists and thugs onto the streets when they should actually have been deported.

Clarke was a monstrous, deluded and incompetent man who loved to portray the British public as rampant, dangerous criminals, preaching that to preserve our freedom we had to surrender it. He delighted in proposing draconian laws to protect us from "terrorists" when in fact if such people actually existed, his demonstrable incompetence would ensure that they would succeed. Luckily for the British people, the "terrorists" were largely the invention of Tony Blair and MI5. If anybody wanted to blow things up, with Clarke in charge they would almost certainly succeed.
Perhaps his most hateful attribute was his personal manner; he liked to cultivate the air of a magisterial headmaster, sternly doling out justice from on high. During a particularly bad televised savaging, he was seen to be taking notes - although personally I suspected he was writing a letter along the lines of "Dear Auntie Maggie, I am on some godawful pleb television show where members of the public are openly encouraged to question my competence. When will they realise I am not here to answer their questions, I am here to punish them for living in this country.. they'll be sorry when they're sent to the new subversive internment camps I've got planned..."

Clarke was finally booted out after public outcry grew so strident that even Prime Minister Tony Blair, He Who Will Not Listen, was forced to sack him.

"Nobody is innocent... we're just here to determine the level of guilt." - Charles Clarke

"Every person currently in Britain is a potential threat to the Labour Party and we must recognise this and act on it."

"1000 foreign criminals released? I'm sorry, I don't know anything about that, despite the fact that it's my full-time job to know these things. Hail Blair!"

"3000 innocent people branded as criminals? Tough. They will get NO compensation from me or anyone else. Quite frankly, I believe that they probably were guilty of something, it's just that my department was too incompetent to find out what... Hail Blair!"

#tony blair #blair #labour #new labour #fascist #clarke #home office #home secretary
by Anne Observer June 07, 2006
An extremely cool band who play ska, punk, reggae, and metal. Their mission is to entertain, and this they do with style and grace. The lineup is Joe (guitar and vocals), Bully (bass), Pokey (drums) and Hannah (saxophone).
They rock the groove on their own material which typically covers such subjects as the evils of television and the joys of fucking other people's mothers. They also do amusing cover versions of pop songs, such as a reggae/metal version of Madonna's "Like A Prayer".
The excellent skills displayed by the musicians, and their irreverent sense of humour, make them one of the best bands emerging on the scene today.
Woke up in the morning with your mother in my bed
She was lying there with her legs just spread
So I woke her up and she gave me some head
And then I called you up - and this is what I said:
Late last night when the sun went down
I left my house, I went across town
I went to see your mum, I stuck it up her bum
I rammed it in and out, until I made her come
Oh yes it was my mission
to try every position
And then I gave her crack
To lower inhibition
Yes your mum is fat it's an undisputed fact
When she goes to the zoo the elephants throw peanuts at her
Yes she's a whale, ships on her trail
They want to harpoon her and put her up for sale
And I'm sorry, my dear, buty it's over.... oh yeah

"Love Your Mother" - The Donns
#guitar #music #band #fun #motherfucker
by Anne Observer June 07, 2006
A misspelling of "bollocks" made by some Yank retard. But hey, it's not as stupid as voting for Bush, the war in Iraq, or eating so much shit food that you become a big fat fatty, like most of them are.
Yank: "Yee haw, bollicks means balls in Engerlandshire."
British Person: "Oh go and shoot a raghead for freedumb.. and torture his wife for dumbocracy."
#bollocks #misspelling #freedumb #balls #engerlandshire
by Anne Observer June 07, 2006
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