1 definition by ARIC FUCKING LUEDECKE

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Metal is a bunch of jumbled noise which always sounds the same. It started off with good intentions but there are only so many original songs you can write using open-eight or open-one on the guitar(for those of you who don't play guitar this is a reference to the frets on which every metal song ever written is played... basically if you need to read this to understand the reference go to guitar center, pick up a guitar and play open-one-open-one-open-open-open-one and you can officially play metal). well i was just gonna be quick and witty about this but now im gonna go on a rant....
metal bands that are incredibly UNoriginal- any band that uses blast beats. don't misunderstand me... i think metal drummers are some of the most musically talented people alive, but when all you hear is five minutes of metronome-like drumbeats it gets redundant. I was in high school band, and i remember being annoyed straight to death when our shitty trumpet section practiced during class because the metronome was going the whole time.(btw being in band was the greatest thing i have ever done for my musical life and if you weren't in band or didn't have professional training then you probably have timing issues) Back to my point... blast beats=obnoxious. Then there is guitar... I am a guitarist, and i KNOW that Michael Angelo Batio is the greatest guitarist who has ever walked the unworthy face of this planet.(Just dropping a good name so you understand what i consider talent.) I know most of the people who read this are not musicians so i will dumb this down a bit. Mot metal bands play in some form of dropped-d(whether its dropped-c like darkest hour or dropped-b like unearth or dropped-a with 7-string guitars or even when morons, who can't understand the fact that guitar is not meant to be a bass, tune down as far as G). so i will speak in dropped-d language... all metal songs are written in one of two keys on the guitar (in standard dropped-d)the key of D-minor(Open-Eight) or F-Major(Open-One<also known as D-Locrian>.) They may tune down to hell and back but they still use the same frets and write the same songs over and over and over and over and over and over and... I know from experience that if a metal band tries to write in a different key then they are labeled as sellouts or emo-fags.
and that is just pure ignorance... pure musical ignorance. point is... while metal guitarists are usually amazingly talented players, they are very closed-minded and seem to think they have to play a certain way to prove their true metaldom. Vocals... scream, yell, done. some metal vocalists sing, and sometimes it's good, but sometimes it sucks.
The best metal bass players are actually the oneswho don't do anything that remotely resembles the guitars but actually go the fuck off with some crazy basslines that still fits with what the rest of the band. Now if you have made it this far you either agree with me or hate me... but let me tell you why i think the way I do. I was in a faggot-ass screamo band. but i was a metalhead and very unhappy with what we were playing. i was kicked out because i didn't dress right to be in the band(i.e. no girlpants) so i continued my metal binge... I came up with bands like, Cephalic Carnage, Cannibal Corpse, Pig Destroyer, Morbid Angel, and Death. but eventually I realized that i was only listening to that because i wanted to be more metal than the next guy. then i realized that the amazing talent i was hearing was strangely boring and repetitive. My motto for music, and life is "Write something you can't play, and when you can play it you will be better." I still listen to some metal...
Between the Buried and Me, Dillinger Escape Plan, The Human Abstract, Glass Casket, The Black Dahlia Murder, and Unearth. Sorry, but I grew up and now i am a better musician because i expand my knowledge of music.
metal is boring and redundant. listen to classical music, or jazz, then decide if you like music or if you just like being part of a group.
by ARIC FUCKING LUEDECKE April 01, 2008

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