Definitions by HolmanTheDaddy
Bearded hammer
Bearded hammer is when you have a very large shite from eating to much MnS food and genuinely living like a king, that as you squeeze this giant monster turd out , it gets caught in your gouch hair swinging between your legs.
Luke : beardy you ok mate?
Beardy : Nooo Sir Luke of deliciousness, Iv eaten far too many lobster rolls and got a big jobby bearded hammer!
Luke : that sounds rough!
Beardy : aye it’s tickling ma baw bags! And looks like a squashed hedgehog
Luke : what you gonna do mate?
Beardy : it’s ok Mr Luke you hunk of a man , my sneddykins will come and rescue me! He’s very gentle with bearded hammers.
Beardy : Nooo Sir Luke of deliciousness, Iv eaten far too many lobster rolls and got a big jobby bearded hammer!
Luke : that sounds rough!
Beardy : aye it’s tickling ma baw bags! And looks like a squashed hedgehog
Luke : what you gonna do mate?
Beardy : it’s ok Mr Luke you hunk of a man , my sneddykins will come and rescue me! He’s very gentle with bearded hammers.
Bearded hammer by HolmanTheDaddy May 19, 2026
Bearded hammer
Bearded hammer is when you have a very large shite from eating to much MnS food and genuinely living like a king, that as you squeeze this giant monster turd out , it gets caught in your gouch hair swinging between your legs.
Luke : beardy you ok mate?
Beardy : Nooo Sir Luke of deliciousness, Iv eaten far too many lobster rolls and got a big jobby bearded hammer!
Luke : that sounds rough!
Beardy : aye it’s tickling ma baw bags! And looks like a squashed hedgehog
Luke : what you gonna do mate?
Beardy : it’s ok Mr Luke you hunk of a man , my sneddykins will come and rescue me! He’s very gentle with bearded hammers.
Beardy : Nooo Sir Luke of deliciousness, Iv eaten far too many lobster rolls and got a big jobby bearded hammer!
Luke : that sounds rough!
Beardy : aye it’s tickling ma baw bags! And looks like a squashed hedgehog
Luke : what you gonna do mate?
Beardy : it’s ok Mr Luke you hunk of a man , my sneddykins will come and rescue me! He’s very gentle with bearded hammers.
Bearded hammer by HolmanTheDaddy May 19, 2026
Bearded hammer
Bearded hammer is when you take a very large shite after eating to much lobster rolls from MnS , and as it is released it gets caught in your gouch hair , hence bearded hammer!
Luke: you ok beardy?
Beardy: Noooo Mr Luke you hunk of a man! Iv lived like a king and eaten to much from Marks & Spencer’s again and given myself a bearded hammer.
Luke: That sounds really bad
Beardy: aye , looks like a hedgehog stuck behind ma baw bags! But it’s ok my sneddykins will fish it out, Sir Luke of deliciousness .
Beardy: Noooo Mr Luke you hunk of a man! Iv lived like a king and eaten to much from Marks & Spencer’s again and given myself a bearded hammer.
Luke: That sounds really bad
Beardy: aye , looks like a hedgehog stuck behind ma baw bags! But it’s ok my sneddykins will fish it out, Sir Luke of deliciousness .
Bearded hammer by HolmanTheDaddy May 19, 2026