Skip to main content

Who told you to put the balm on? 

A response to someone who does something that undermines a perfectly devious strategy, taken from the words of Jackie Childs from Seinfeld when Kramer put balm on his thighs which cured the burns from a hot cup of coffee, thus thwarting their strategy to sue for permanent disfigurement.
I set up a fake meeting in my calendar so I wouldn't have to go to the staff meeting, then you screwed it up by suggesting we push the staff meeting back an hour. Who told you to put the balm on?
Who told you to put the balm on? mug front
Get the Who told you to put the balm on? mug.
See more merch

Somebody once told me the world was gonna roll me i aint the sharpest tool in the shed she was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb in the shape on an l on her forehead.

The first verse of the song "Smash Mouth" by "All Star"
"Somebody once told me the world was gonna roll me i aint the sharpest tool in the shed she was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb in the shape on an l on her forehead."
Bob: "WHAT IS THIS?"
Sharyl: "GOD'S SINGING VOICE"
Bob: "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" *eyes melt out of head*

Somebody once told me the world was gonna roll me i aint the sharpest tool in the shed she was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb in the shape on an l on her forehead.

The first song of the verse "All Star" by "Shrek: The Movie"
Somebody once told me the world was gonna roll me i aint the sharpest tool in the shed she was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb in the shape on an l on her forehead.
ORly bro

This was made for sad_wabbit on Instagram because he looks like a monkey and wants to clown on others for their religion (he told me to write a book about why we should respect others beliefs) 

In a world as vast and diverse as ours, belief systems vary greatly, each adding a unique hue to the fabric of humanity. From major religions to indigenous spiritualities, our world is rich with different perspectives. Beneath this tapestry lies a common thread: the human longing for meaning and connection.

At the core of every religion lies compassion, whether through Christianity's Golden Rule, Islam's emphasis on charity, or Buddhism's teachings on loving-kindness. Mocking beliefs disregards this value, fostering division.

In facing global challenges, unity and cooperation are crucial. Respecting each other's beliefs builds bridges, transcending divides and promoting understanding. This fosters a society that is resilient, inclusive, and compassionate.

Mockery sends a ripple effect of negativity and division, fueling conflicts and atrocities. Conversely, tolerance creates a culture of respect and understanding, promoting healing and reconciliation.

While freedom of expression is vital, it must be tempered by respect and civility. Hate speech spreads misinformation and leads to real-world violence. Upholding tolerance ensures everyone can express themselves freely.

Despite differences, universal truths unite us: the desire for happiness, peace, and meaning. Focusing on commonalities fosters a shared humanity, breaking down barriers and building bridges of understanding and solidarity.
This was made for sad_wabbit on Instagram because he looks like a monkey and wants to clown on others for their religion (he told me to write a book about why we should respect others beliefs)

my mother told me one day i will buy

viking song or when you forgor what your mother told you you will buy
P1: hey man, who told you youll buy?
P2: my mother told me one day i will buy

somebody once told me the world was gonna roll me 

The first line of All Star by Smash Mouth. Oh Shrek.
“Somebody once told me the world was gonna roll me.” Said the MLG fan.

Somebody once told m 

the world is gonna roll me
I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed
She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb
In the shape of an "L" on her forehead

Well, the years start coming and they don't stop coming
Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running
Didn't make sense not to live for fun
Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb

So much to do, so much to see
So what's wrong with taking the back streets?
You'll never know if you don't go
You'll never shine if you don't glow

Chorus:
Hey, now, you're an All Star, get your game on, go play
Hey, now, you're a Rock Star, get the show on, get paid
And all that glitters is gold
Only shooting stars break the mold

It's a cool place and they say it gets colder
You're bundled up now wait 'til you get older
But the meteor men beg to differ
Judging by the hole in the satellite picture

The ice we skate is getting pretty thin
The water's getting warm so you might as well swim
My world's on fire. How about yours?
That's the way I like it and I'll never get bored.

Chorus 2x

Somebody once asked could I spare some change for gas
I need to get myself away from this place
I said yep, what a concept
I could use a little fuel myself
And we could all use a little change

Well, the years start coming and they don't stop coming
Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running
Didn't make sense not to live for fun
Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb

So much to do so much to see
So w
"Somebody once told me the world was gonna roll me"