Keepsake
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Hallmark Keepsake Ornaments
Small plastic trinkets, generally made in China, that are sold nearly year-round in Hallmark stores across America. These items are almost completely worthless, though many insist that they are extremely collectible. Though generally cheaply made, these ornaments have the power to cast a spell over those who buy them, often resulting in customers spending well over $600 to own each and every one (and then ending up storing them in an attic because NO ONE has enough room to hang them all). To perpetuate this madness, Hallmark executives formed a Keepsake Ornament Collector's Club, which has a surprisingly large number of members. For the low, low price of $25, members can choose two inherently ugly "club exclusive" ornaments and receive their very own paper membership cards. Then they have the option of buying other "club exclusive" ornaments that are sure to have great value to other rabid collectors in the future. Of course, what the executives do not want the public to know is that any "club exclusive" ornaments not sold by Christmas will be available to the general public.
Keepsake Ornaments are released every year in early July (at a sickening event known as "Ornament Premiere"), and remain up until well after Christmas. Hardcore collectors can start ordering them in early June, when the ornament catalogue (inappropriately titled the "Dreambook") becomes available in Hallmark stores. Sane people, of course, have learned to avoid the ornament premiere, thus sparing themselves from seeing the disturbing sight of a poor college student sweating in a Christmas sweater and passing out Christmas cookies when everyone else in the store is walking around in shorts and tank tops.
Keepsake Ornaments are released every year in early July (at a sickening event known as "Ornament Premiere"), and remain up until well after Christmas. Hardcore collectors can start ordering them in early June, when the ornament catalogue (inappropriately titled the "Dreambook") becomes available in Hallmark stores. Sane people, of course, have learned to avoid the ornament premiere, thus sparing themselves from seeing the disturbing sight of a poor college student sweating in a Christmas sweater and passing out Christmas cookies when everyone else in the store is walking around in shorts and tank tops.
Customer one: "I've been waiting for the Hallmark Keepsake Ornaments to come out all year!"
Customer two: "Oh yeah? Which ones did you get?"
Customer one: "ALL OF THEM!!"
Customer two: "All of them?! How much did that cost you?!"
Customer one: "Only, like, $800. That's WAY less than last year!"
Customer two: *passes out*
Customer two: "Oh yeah? Which ones did you get?"
Customer one: "ALL OF THEM!!"
Customer two: "All of them?! How much did that cost you?!"
Customer one: "Only, like, $800. That's WAY less than last year!"
Customer two: *passes out*
Hallmark Keepsake Ornaments by taekwondoangel1 July 19, 2009
keepsnake
a keepsnake refers to a person who is of low intellectual, moral, and social standards, and is willing to go to any length to become recognized, acknowledged, or validated.
Usually very loyal to the person giving the orders, and can be venomous, injurious, and evil to their intended target.
Michael Cohen was a keepsnake for Donald Trump
Usually very loyal to the person giving the orders, and can be venomous, injurious, and evil to their intended target.
Michael Cohen was a keepsnake for Donald Trump
Hey man, what about that guy who stole your car?
Well I guess I'm just going to have to send my keepsnake, Larry Low-crawl over to rattle his cage a little!
Well I guess I'm just going to have to send my keepsnake, Larry Low-crawl over to rattle his cage a little!
keepsnake by Dr. Spankenstein November 13, 2019
Nutshot
It is said of the situation where a person has the bad luck to make contact with his testicles against an undefined surface or object, intentioned or not.
Given the nature of the word, it is more appropriate to design cases where the interaction is made with a moving object, for example, a ball.
Although it is extremely painful for the victim, it tends to be considerably funny to people who witness it.
Given the nature of the word, it is more appropriate to design cases where the interaction is made with a moving object, for example, a ball.
Although it is extremely painful for the victim, it tends to be considerably funny to people who witness it.
Today in the baseball game the pitcher took a nutshot; the baseball hit him in the nuts.
Man, I just watched the funniest nutshot video ever.
Man, I just watched the funniest nutshot video ever.
Nutshot by Uberflaven March 1, 2009
Word of the Day on June 26, 2026
Nerd neck
A "human" that spends so much time playing video games that their posture is level nerd neck. Everytime anyone goes tryhard they hunch down and their neck gets longer there fore a nerd neck is always hunched down cause they're always going try hard. In other words a nerd neck is a try hard, since their neck is 100% longer than the average human being due to playing too many video games and taking them serious, nerd necks are not even considered human anymore but something more sad. Nerd necks are often found on fortnite, their natural habitat usually being tilted towers.
Nerd neck by D Sandwich Maker February 5, 2019
Word of the Day on June 25, 2026