1 definition by the asdf

Top Definition
A term meant for a person who is a well accomplished sniper in the marine corps. Their uncle was shot down in a helicopter. They speak 4 different languages-English, German, Russian, and bullshit. (primarily bullshit)
They are direct descendants of Adolf Hitler, a man who had no children. They are so dedicated to the bullshit they speak, they would gun down anyone who stood in their way. They know how to assemble a nuclear submarine blindfolded, yet cannot identify the location of a carburetor on a vehicle. To be a proper Koontz, you must have undergone extensive marine sniper training in Fort Bragg, Oklahoma. You say there is no Fort Bragg in Oklahoma? That's how top secret it is.

Koontzes have been shot in the chest multiple times with a 30 ought 6 rifle. You also own a .17 caliber rifle. A .44 magnum round tickles, yet when a dog jumps on your knee, you are crippled for at least a week.
To be a Koontz is to be a god.
Koontz tore down the Berlin Wall.
Koontz won World WarII. The bomb from the Enola Gay failed to drop, so Koontz carried the bomb in on his back, then detonated it, living to tell the tale.
by the asdf September 23, 2009

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