plus-size albert's definitions

California Dad

A middle-aged white male that (usually) lives in a Southern California suburb. They are slightly overweight with a chubby face and balding. They will wear a baseball cap with sunglasses, short-sleeve shirt, cargo shorts, white socks with sneakers. They spout liberal propaganda any chance they get (which is strange because they come off as strict). They are often completely clueless about the world around them, because they will read a random statistic off of the local newspaper about how their community is "the safest in the tri-county area" and they will take it as fact and then lecture kids about how "good they have it" no matter how many incidents of crime affect those kids or show up in their neighborhood. And when it happens they often will brush it off as "kids being kids" because they did that when they were younger so they think it's normal. A California Dad is one of the most useless people you will ever meet.

"Did you tell your dad about how you had a bottle thrown at you?" - friend #1

"Yeah but he just said 'ThAts wHat TEenagers dO!'. To be honest, I think he did that crap as well." - friend #2
"He's such a California dad" - friend #1

by plus-size albert December 29, 2020

Art kid

A type of kid in either middle school or high school in art class that is either a bored popular kid who had a class open so they just chose art. Or they are mentally ill drama queen that complains about their "anxiety" and gets hostile if you ask them anything about their past.

"Why's that kid yelling at nothing?"
"I don't know, he's probably an art kid"

by plus-size albert January 2, 2021

Conejo valley

A region of southern California that consists of southern Thousand Oaks/Newbury Park, Westlake Village, Agoura Hills, a little bit of Calabasas, and Oak Park which is actually not apart of this region or county, but is considered one of the region's neighborhoods. Each one of these "communities" has a specific trait:
Thousand Oaks/Newbury Park: Working class Simi Valley - type people
Westlake Village: Skater teens and rich adults
Agoura Hills: Wannabe gangster teens who do drugs and tag walls in parking lots, and redneck adults who are friendly but clueless about these incidents

Calabasas: Rich people but bad schools

Oak Park: Pot heads and insane/unexpected news, like kidnappings and pedophiles

"I live in Conejo Valley."

"Oh yeah? Which city?"
"Oak park"
"Huh?"

by plus-size albert November 22, 2020

Agoura High School

A Highschool in Agoura Hills, CA. Attending this place is a punishment. Once you have dodged the insane soccer moms in their vans that are larger than their asses, you must sit in multiple overcrowded classrooms over the course of 7 hours. All while SJW teachers talk their theories at you on why white people are bad. When you've survived that, you will be lucky to find your bike still chained up. Because there is a 60% chance that it will be stolen by one of the many wannabe thugs that plague the school and the surrounding neighborhood. HAVE FUN!

"Agoura High school is gonna be the greatest time of your life!" - Literally all of the middle school teachers in the area.

NEWSFLASH: it's not

by plus-size albert November 20, 2020

Conejo valley

A region of southern California that consists of southern Thousand Oaks/Newbury Park, Westlake Village, Agoura Hills, a little bit of Calabasas, and Oak Park which is actually not apart of this region or county, but is considered one of the region's neighborhoods. Each one of these "communities" has a specific trait:
Thousand Oaks/Newbury Park: Working class Simi Valley - type people
Westlake Village: Skater teens and rich adults
Agoura Hills: Wannabe gangster teens who do drugs and tag walls in parking lots, and redneck adults who are friendly but clueless about these incidents

Calabasas: Rich people but bad schools

Oak Park: Pot heads and insane/unexpected news, like kidnappings and pedophiles

"I live in Conejo Valley."

"Oh yeah? Which city?"
"Oak park"
"Huh?"

by plus-size albert November 22, 2020

Conejo valley

A region of southern California that consists of southern Thousand Oaks/Newbury Park, Westlake Village, Agoura Hills, a little bit of Calabasas, and Oak Park which is actually not apart of this region or county, but is considered one of the region's neighborhoods. Each one of these "communities" has a specific trait:
Thousand Oaks/Newbury Park: Working class Simi Valley - type people
Westlake Village: Skater teens and rich adults
Agoura Hills: Wannabe gangster teens who do drugs and tag walls in parking lots, and redneck adults who are friendly but clueless about these incidents

Calabasas: Rich people but bad schools

Oak Park: Pot heads and insane/unexpected news, like kidnappings and pedophiles

"I live in Conejo Valley."

"Oh yeah? Which city?"
"Oak park"
"Huh?"

by plus-size albert November 22, 2020

California Cowboy

A person from California who is conservative and gung - ho. A personality that contradicts the typical Californian

"I love California but I've never really fit in"
"Yeah, you're just a California cowboy"

by plus-size albert May 23, 2021