Toby: Actually, I didn't think it was appropriate to invite children, since it's uh, you know, there's gambling and alcohol, it's in our dangerous warehouse, it's a school night, and you know, Hooters is catering, and is that - is that enough? Should I keep going?
Michael: Why are you the way that you are? Honestly, every time I try to do something fun, or exciting, you make it... not that way. I hate... so much about the things that you choose to be.

Toby: We want to go home.
Michael: Well, you don’t even have anyone to go home to, Toby.

Michael: Did anyone do anything involving an Indian burial ground?
Oscar: Like what?
Michael: Like park on it. Or dig up a body... Toby? Anything you want to tell us?
Toby: No, I did not violate an Indian burial ground. In fact I had some good luck recently, Alfredo's Pizza, picked my business card out of the basket, so... uh, I got a week of free pies.
Pam: That's cool.
Toby: Yeah.
Michael: Perfect. So our tragedy is your good luck. Satan.

Michael: (next house) Hey Toby! You suck! (throwing eggs at his house)
DeAngelo: Is this an employee of ours?
Michael: (giggles) Go go go go go go!

My girl is a total eliz, i love her but she's always mackin' on other dudes and whining about where we're going to eat.