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1 definition by elkam

 
1.

You must first round up six transsexuals. Three of these transsexuals must be blind and pre-op, the other three sighted and post-op. These are male to female, or seeking to be male to female, individuals. Arrange the sighted transsexuals in a row of three, with the blind transsexuals at least twenty-five feet behind them, also in a row. Have the sighted transsexuals bend over naked. Then give the blind, defenseless transsexuals (the pre-ops) each the cut-off tail of a donkey, with a nail through the upper extremity. Then have them walk towards the row of sighted transsexuals all at once, and tell them they are playing “pin the tail on the donkey.” Once pricked in the ass, have the sighted transsexuals kick back as a horse would when agitated, being sure to hit the unfortunate blind transsexuals directly in the groin area. Have this occur repeatedly. After significant internal damage has occurred in the groin areas, of the blind transsexuals, free the sighted ones. Now, take the blinded ones and have them each ejaculate into a cup multiple times. After a sufficient amount of bloody semen has been collected, free the blind transsexuals.
Next, masturbate chronically until your body is completely drained of all seminal fluids. Immediately take the cup of bloodied semen and get into your car, before your body can produce any of its own seminal fluids. Take the cup of bloodied semen to a proctologist. Have him draw it up into a large hypodermic syringe and inject it directly into your prostate. The needle should ideally be rusty. Your previously empty prostate now contains the blood-rife semen of the three blind transsexuals.
Subsequently, find your girlfriend/boyfriend. Have intense penetrative sex with them, using no condom. Be sure to have enough sessions of sexual intercourse with them to ensure that your prostate is fully drained of the bloodied semen. Then, have them position the fucked orifice over a cup and recollect the bloodied semen, which now either tastes like ass or natural vaginal lubricants. Next, tell you partner that you have AIDS (which you probably do, being that you have injected your prostate with the bloodied semen of three blind, pre-op trannies. As they realize and cry over the fact that they are now afflicted with the HIV virus, collect their tears with an eyedropper and integrate them into the cup of bloodied semen, stirring well. Mixing well is essential to the subsequent freezing process. Place the bloodied, stanky, tear-rife semen into a freezer, and leave it there until the tears crystallize.

Next, go to an appliance and purchase a small solar-powered freezer. Place the semen cup into the freezer, and close the door tightly. Next, go to a marina and purchase a boat sturdy enough to make a trans-continental voyage. Buy enough provisions for a two week trip, and enter the boat with the freezer carrying the semen. Make sure the boat is equipped with a harpoon. Then, on the boat, using an Internet-enabled mobile phone, find directions to whatever country is the most economically depressed/has the lowest standard of living at the time. Point the boat in the direction of said country and GO.
As you cross the ocean, which will most likely be the case, use your phone to look up the most endangered species of whale. Then, for the next few days, go whaling with your harpoon. After you have successfully killed said wale, remove from it 1/6 cup of blubber. Discard the rest of the whale (you can fuck it if you like). Immediately integrate the endangered whale blubber into the bloodied, tear-rife, stanky semen. This ingredient is essential for the congealing process. Add 1 tablespoon of sugar obtained from the leading human rights abusing sugar cane plantation, which I am sure can be obtained wherever you are headed. MIX WELL and allow the blubbery, stanky, tear-rife, bloodied semen to congeal in the freezer for the rest of your voyage. Upon arrival at the impoverished country, set aside the freezer and find a small, emaciated indigenous tribe. Select from this tribe the most starved-looking, depressed child, and enslave him/her. Force him/her to work a physically demanding, repetitive, and depressing job to generate money to fund your voyage back to your country of origin. Promise him/her that at the end of his travails, he/she will be freed and given the most delicious desert on earth, Raspberry Sherbet. Make your best effort to really get him/her to get quite excited about obtaining the sherbet, so that they become increasingly anxious for it over time.
After the slave has accumulated enough funds to finance your return voyage home, go into your freezer and remove the semeny concoction. Give it to the slave, who thinks it is Raspberry Sherbet. As he/she delightfully eats it, thinking that this is the best thing that will EVER happen to them, recline and masturbate to the fact that you have convinced a starving, impoverished, defenseless child to eat blubbery, stanky, bloodied, tear-rife tranny semen and LIKE IT. Upon climax, bask in the fact that you have created for this child a snack through means more immoral than those utilized by the imperialist system of global trade that keeps him impoverished in the first place.
I should not have to mention that the semen you have just ejaculated is pure, liquefied Evil.

Man, Raspberry Sherbet took me three years to set up...I should have just gotten a blumpkin.
by elkam April 13, 2009