30 definitions by ddoug

asshole who gets on freeway at a lightning fast 23.2 mph causing major havoc at on-ramp. they then instantly shoot over to fast lane with no regard for use of mirrors or turn signals causing multiple people to lock up their brakes, and numerous near misses as cars have to swerve to avoid them. they then proceed to break speed records as they travel at thewhopping speed of 45 mph in the fast lane all the while with left turn signal now on continuously....they seem to have immunity to the middle finger, most people would get upset at several hundred people giving them the bird, but not the asian driver.{perhaps they dont see it, how could that be possible?}.
there are several species of asian driver....the young americanized asian driver can be recognized by the cars they drive...lowered japanese ricers with hood scoops, 8 inch exhausts that make more noise than an f-15 at full afterburner, they are always lowered and have more unreadable decals than a nascar. but the #1 giveaway is a 9 inch tachometer mounted directly in front of the drivers face on the A-pillar.
the most deadly type of asian driver is the FOB female, they can be identified by glasses thicker than the hubble telescope, or on sunny days by the wearing of a welding sheild and white cotton gloves{to keepp their skin fair, ive been told} avoid contact with this type AT ALL COSTS, they have been known to be able actually roll a car doing less than 3 mph on flat and level ground with no other vehicles involved.
this is being posted as a public service, learned from years of experience. some other sure signs that can help you spot an asian driver are
1 they make a left turn from the right lane
2 both hands on wheel in death grip
3 head never moves from straight ahead posistion ex: like checking mirrors
4 red and gold thing with tassels hanging from rear view mirror, blocking yet even more of thier already severly limited field of view
5 flower pattern seat covers and doillie things near rear window
6 NUMEROUS dings scrapes and dents on bumpers and doors, tire sidewall is completely scrapped off. this is caused by MANY botched attempts st parrallel parking

if ever involved in accident with asian driver, be forewarned....they will not speak english. they CAN, but they wont, hoping that in your frustration at their feigned jibberish you will just leave...therefore not reporting accident allowing them to keep undeserved drivers license. the other tactic they use is they will claim to thier insurance co. that you hit them.even though you have a crushed rear bumper and their hood is bent and it happened on a freeway.
i have a great idea "licenses for illegals?" im all for that on one condition...every license given to a mexican...take one away from an asian!!! the world would be a safer place
i was warming my car up in my driveway and an asian driver broadsided me
by Ddoug November 07, 2006
the reason air bags were invented
look at the asian driver doing 40 in the fast lane
by Ddoug November 26, 2006
when you get so shit faced drunk that you dont remember what you did and you have a few less friends the next day. caused by too many 40 oz malt liqours and tanqueray gin
damn, sha-quita was so nigger brained last night that ho sucked off the whole party
by Ddoug November 05, 2006
a set of big ass titties, boobs, knockers, cans, rack,
hey check out the jiggle twins
by Ddoug November 14, 2006
this is a nickname for highway 880 in the san francisco bay area from union city to milpitas, named for the extremely large percentage of asian drivers found on it. and subsequently the high numbers of traffic jams and accidents etc etc
dude, it took me 3 hours to go 2 miles on the ho chi minh trail, must be chinese new years
by Ddoug November 26, 2006
the portable outhouses on construction sites, usually blue in color
1} wheres tj?
2} that burrito hit him bad, hes in the blue room
by Ddoug November 26, 2006
A loser cousin of "Dudley do right" has perfect white teeth, never a speck of dust on him, he accomplishes nothing despite being busy all day everyday. this is the guy that always complains that he is so overworked, yet never seems to do anything, while pawning off all tasks on everyone else. only keeps his job due to the fact that his brother is the boss
david is such a "dudley do nothing" if his brother didnt own the company he would have starved to death years ago
by ddoug April 18, 2008

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