Definitions by Tiki Torch Bob

literary masturbation 

The act of using unnecessary elaborate speech to convey a simple point, or speaking in a tone that would make you seem like a pompous dipshit.

I recently attended the line at the food product facility, at which I purchased a deliciously decadent three cheese lasagna and a bottle of Spumante.

literary masturbation by Tiki Torch Bob June 19, 2004