1. A place where everyone wears a Larry the Cable Guy t-shirt and a Dixie Outfitter hat with one of those dumbass gold fish hooks on it.
2. A place where nobody finished high school because they were all too busy "throwing in a fat one" and dreaming of that deer they killed from hundreds of yards away while hiding in a tree stand wishing slavery was still legal and listening to Garth Brooks drone on about how great beef jerky is.
3. A place where nobody ever learns to read.
Boy: Pa, I want to learn to read.
Father: READ!?! What are you, a damn Yankee? Have you forgotten your Confederate roots? You're from the South!
Boy: Hell yeah! Fuck reading!
Father: Good, now go get me my Skoal so I can watch Fox News.