1 definition by THE 5318008

Top Definition
Otherkin are a magical race of people that are usually combinations of two very separate creatures. For example, an otherkin will often be part morbidly obese and part attention whore.

Otherkin are often misunderstood...because it's hard to understand someone when they've got their mouth full of one of those sculpted dragon-penis shaped dildos.

It's not unheard of for a teenager with gawky looks and low self-esteem to stumble across an enclave/nest/website/asylum full of these people and, after being greedily accepted by them, suddenly remember that he was (in a previous life) part basilisk, part Merlin. He/she will maintain this belief until he/she gets laid. NOTE: If he/she gets laid by a fellow otherkin, all bets are off for the return of sanity. He/she will probably die at the age of 59 with a smile on his/her face, knowing that in the next life he/she will be a wyvern claiming to be Normalkin that was once human who the other wyverns will make fun of and push into the mud.

In a perfect world, we'd be allowed to send them to camps where guys in knight armor would spend the day walking around and smacking them gently on the head with blunt swords until they smarten up, but this is not a perfect world. The best we norms can hope for is to catch one unawares, steal their prosthetic unicorn horn, and run away giggling while they stand there wetting their pants in impotent fury and screaming "Brinnnnng baaaaack myyyyy horrrrrrn!"

Otherkin are prone to outbursts of nonsensical gibberish. "We come from all walks of life!" is a popular one. This is, of course, completely insane as no normal person could ever imagine (for example) Donald Trump, Jennifer Aniston, or Yul Brenner coming out of the magical closet to reporters. You need to have hit rock bottom to slide down that slippery slope. Yes, that was a mixed metaphor, but if they can be half gryphons, half Santa's elves, then I can mix my metaphors. Suck it, dragon-boy.

In conclusion, all otherkin should be sterilized to keep them from breeding. Thank you.
Man 1: "Did you hear about Bob's son?"
Man 2: "Yeah. It's a shame. What the fuck IS an otherkin, anyway?"
Man 1: "I think it's the new word for bestiality. Bob was in tears when I talked to him. Don't they teach ANY social skills in high school anymore?"
Man 2: "It's his mother I feel bad for. Bob told me she caught him in the bathroom making paper maché dragon wings."
Man 1: "Man. Maybe they could get him a hooker or something."

Fat Middle-Aged Woman: "In the 3rd year of the reign of King Arthur, I was a dragon-turtle named 'Stellestra!'"
Mundane Human with a Life: "You don't say."
Fat Middle-Aged Woman: "Doth you not believeth me, mortal?"
Mundane Human with a Life: "Your hymen is still intact, isn't it? No, don't answer, I can smell it from here."
by THE 5318008 September 01, 2009
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