As of 2006, an extremely unintelligent, very large, round
26 year old male residing in Northeastern Pennsylvania who may very well hold the record for the world's smallest penis
. Cy is very unattractive, unkempt, unwashed, poorly spoken, and extremely slothlike. Even his own penis is known to retract, abnormally, into his own body in order to hide from his hideous outer form.
Still living with his parents, Cy is very lazy and does nothing for himself, expecting the world to be handed to him on a silver platter while he, himself, gets fatter. Cy has never held a job, refuses to be active, and stews in his own self-pity (as well as his filth) for months at a time. Cy, unfortunately, will never become independant, as he is simply too lazy to do anything to make his life less stagnant. Cy has no respect for women, therefore having no respect for himself, and henceforth gaining no respect from others, merely expanding in size, moping continually about his lonliness that only he, himself, creates.
Cy prides himself on his poor taste of women: the large variety with hideous facial features, poor intelligence, vast desperation, and abnormal amounts body hair. These women usually have children, which draws Cy nearer, due to Cy's inability to conceive due to his hideous outer appearance and lack of penile length to actually reach anywhere near a woman's vagina.
He preys himself on any woman who proverbally crosses his path on the internet (as no females willingly approach him in person, for obvious reasons), thinking he is a ladies man, when in reality, Earth's female population merely feels sorry for this mentally challanged fool
Poorly spoken, and with the mind of a young child, Cy is very greedy, and it is very difficult to understand him because of his horrid lack of grammar skills. He insists he is bright but in reality he has no idea just now stupid he is.
Cy is very overly desperate
in the dating world, subconsciously knowing that he will brood, alone, in his own stench for all eternity, continually expanding in size; as no sane human of ANY gender would put up with his slothlike
qualities and complete absence of brain activity.
Cy has very unrealistic views on companionship, and sees marriage as a trophy to show off, expecting a woman to flash around her marriage certificate and/or wedding ring to display that they are married. Cy only wants a trophy, and a source of sexual output, neither of which he shall have. Cy has no idea what a real relationship is as he is simply not mentally mature enough to understand one.
Cy is a complete attention whore, exaggerating and even faking medical issues simply to get a woman's attention. He is a horrible liar, as most people can find him out quite easily. He makes on like he is dying of all these complications when inr eality the only medical complication he has is that his laziness adds to his ample size, creating more and more fat cells, creating a neverending cycle of fat
. Eventually Cy will lose all muscle activity, brooding in his own sins, being one of those fat men that never leave their beds, that talk shows interview for entertainment value.