Jesus lived a really long time ago in the Holy Land. He taught a lot of people to be nice to each other. He told stories, called parables, to help people understand about heaven and how they should live. A bunch of guys called Pharisees thought that he was dissing God by calling himself God's son (they called it blasphemy), so they plotted to kill him. One of Jesus' closest friends helped the Roman soldiers capture Jesus for about 12 bucks. The Romans were fair about it, though, and gave the people of Rome the choice to free either Jesus, or a guy who was thrown in jail for murder; they chose to free the murderer.
Jesus was publicly humiliated in front of loads of people, and was nailed to a cross. Even when all this had happened, he still asked God to forgive everybody for treating him like a criminal.
Jesus was one of the most influential men in history. Our modern day calendar is based on his birth. About 30% of the world's population hail Jesus as God. They say he performed many miracles and even came back from the dead. The Christian religion states that Jesus died for the forgiveness of sins, and that even if you are a terrible person in this world, as long as you believe in him as Christ, you will be forgiven and will go to heaven.
Even if you don't believe Jesus is the Messiah, you've got to admit, he was a pretty cool guy and inspired millions of people to be nicer.
Jesus says, "Love that guy that trash-canned you back in 9th grade