The platonic idea of love is non-physical, so there’s a natural irony in this kind of thing. The word platonic with the word blowjob is automatically an oxymoron. So, the platonic blowjob is a particular kind of act between two people who claim to be friends yet are sexually dependant on one and other (either by desire or sudden necessity). In other words, it’s a kind of booty call where one sucks the cock of the other to save or strengthen the friendship.
Amy: What do you think are the political ramifications of China switching to nuclear power?
Mj: Hey, Amy, I’m sorry but I’m too horny too listen. I think I’m going to have to booty call my ex or hit on that pig drinking by herself over by the pool table.
Amy: No, don’t leave me alone.
Well, then what?
I have an idea! I’ll give you a platonic blowjob!
(Amy drops to her knees in front of MJ mphhhphh mphph mphphphhphhhhhh)
Ah, thanks. I think that China modernizing to all nuclear reactors will have a profound impact on the price of oil. It will drop . . .
(an example of a friendship saved by the Platonic Blowjob)
John: Are you dating Amy?
MJ: No, I like drinking with her.
John: Aha. She's been giving you platonic blowjobs, hasn't she? What a pig! |
