1 definition by Marsie Donovan

Top Definition
A nickname that should be applied to anybody whom fits the following set of properties/characteristics:

1.) speech impediment which results in a retarded accent that is a cross between british/jersey/southern/forrest gump.
2.) constantly repeats the words; "OK, but", "but you get what i'm saying?", "you see what i'm saying", "imagine this".
3.) worships the extinct species; woolly mammoth (also claims that his fat father has eaten a woolly mammoth steak, which isn't even possible).
4.) weighs less than 100lbs.
5.) heavily resembles a vampire.
6.) extremely unthreatening/weak
7.) sexually inactive/possibly gay.
8.) major liar.
9.) claims to have the ability to: "beat that ass"
10.) has only enough testosterone to resort to drinking hot chocolate as opposed to drinking a beer or water.

- It must be stated that a Spaulding will make ridiculous claims with absolutely no proof or any substance. Spauldings are typically social outcasts whom bring social neglect on to themselves through constant lies and an annoying accent. -
Coworker: "Hey Spaulding, how's it going?"

Spaudling: "Not bad."

Coworker: "Did you get those power-rangers you wanted for christmas?"

Spaulding: "You see (Coworker), this is why I hate you, because you always start rumors. *Then attacks Coworker with a cardboard box, resulting in said Coworker placing one hand on Spaulding's chest and SLAMMING him into a shelving unit at a grocery store.*

Coworker: "Don't ever hit me again you little fucking piece of shit, or I will kill you motherfucker."

Spaulding: "I'm gonna beat that ass"

Spaulding's eyes fill with tears.

Here is a documented poem written by a filthy hippie who goes by the alias of "Donovan". This is the poem:

Planes, tanks and mammoths
I said you are ignorant
Beat that rump so hard.

by Marsie Donovan December 31, 2006

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