1 definition by M FUCKING JAM

A mythical sea beast that lived 250 years ago. He's a massive monster with tentacles, big bug eyes, multicolored skin, and a retarded wiggley smile. The absolute worst of the worst, just fucking rude, smug, good for nothing, worthless punk ass bitch. Straight up needs to see a plastic surgeon because no living creature should have such a fucked up wiggley smile. Nothing more than a shit eating, friend stealing, back stabbing, lying, cheating, sailor killing, boat tipping, fucking tentacle having freak who should get the fuck out of the ocean because every single living soul in the world despises him. Literally the dirt under your shoes that is so repulsive it makes you want to rip out your eyes and donate them to a blind person, only to kill that blind person because that shit was so down right gross, just fucking raunchy. The most ugly, white trash, baby stealing, shit eating mother fucker, just fucking sitting around all day smiling. Straight trash.
"The kraken killed every single person I know because it knew a guy who knew me. He burned my house down too."

"Yo man, I'm sorry to hear about that. I heard one time the kraken sold crack to a school of cancer patients and then blew up a church and burned down all the forests on the east coast."

"Motha fuckin jam!"
by M FUCKING JAM July 29, 2009

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