1 definition by Joshie Poopoo

Top Definition
One who practices Judaism, which is THE original monotheistic religion. Though Jews constitute merely one quarter of one percent of the world population (about 1 in 400 people), approximately 25% of all Nobel Prizes are won by Jews. Additionally, only about 3% of America's population is Jewish, but Jews have a dominant presence in every top university in America (27% of Ivy League students are Jewish), as well as every professional field, ranging from medicine and law, to entertainment and film.

Many like to attribute Jewish success to reasons such as greed and thrift, and many even think Jews get preferential treatment - these accusations are foolish, and those who propagate them are ignorant to say the very least; Jews have faced the utmost degree of persecution for thousands of years, yet continue to disproportionately accomplish great things - not only in number, but also in magnitude. Furthermore, studies have conclusively shown that the average Jewish person has an IQ in the 85th percentile among their non-Jewish caucasian counterparts, and that Jews are six times more likely to have an IQ in the genius range (140 and above) than the average person.

More statistics:
- Almost half of the money contributed to democratic primaries have been from Jewish donors
- 40% of partners at the top NY and DC law firms are Jewish
- Jews constitute 30% of the faculty members at the 15 most elite American colleges
- 23% of the Forbes "500 richest Americans" were Jewish
- Half of all world chess champions have been Jewish

A mind-blowing number of the most prominent figures in history have been Jewish. As this (very short) list illustrates, they have been prominent in all aspects of life:

- Albert Einstein (theoretical physicist)
- Ruth Bader Ginsburg (supreme court justice)
- George Gershwin (music composer)
- Harry Houdini (magician, escape artist)
- Sigmund Freud (philosopher)
- Noam Chomsky (linguist, political activist)
- Steven Spielberg (movie producer)
- Sandy Koufax (baseball pitcher, hall of fame member)
- Joseph Lieberman (U.S. senator, should be vice president right now)
- Moses Horwitz, Samuel Horwitz, Louis Feinberg (the three stooges, pioneers in american comedy and popular culture)

Though no one may have the divine jurisdiction to dub themselves as "the chosen people", the Jews certainly make a good case for themselves.
Look at that Jew. He's so damn rich, smart and good-looking. I wish I could be more like him!
by Joshie Poopoo August 10, 2007

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