13 definitions by John Sequitur

Top Definition
A crush that's one-sided to the point of being creepy.

See unrequited love.
on It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Charlie has a waitress crush on the Waitress.

I had a total waitress crush on this girl from high school, until she slept with my best friend.
by john sequitur September 05, 2012
portmanteau of "pornography" and "entertainment".
It's quite easy to tell when you've ventured into a city's pornotainment district.

Much of the Internet's explosive growth (no pun intended) may likely be attributed to the pornotainment industry.
by john sequitur March 08, 2008
The apparent difference in the rate of time perceived by someone taking a dump compared to the rest of the world. (For every minute you think you've been sitting on the toilet, 80-100 seconds have actually gone by.) The Turd Law rarely holds up to empirical measurement, and is therefore considered by the scientific community to be a big load of crap.
Boss: "If you weren't in there droppin' a deuce for so long you might be done your work by now."
Me: "I was in there for five minutes. Six tops."
Boss: "More like 15 or 20…"
Me: "Well I'll be damned. I just proved the Turd Law of Relativity."
by john sequitur October 23, 2013
to glamorize gloom
My sister went through a goth phase as a teenager; she would often gloomerize with dark clothing and makeup.

Lars von Trier's film "Melancholia" is the epitome of apocalyptic gloomerization.
by john sequitur August 07, 2012
Someone privy to the same secrets as you are; a fellow initiate.
If you're looking for good herbs, I've been out of that business for a long time. But that doesn't mean I can't help you... let me call my Bro in the Know.
by john sequitur May 15, 2014
Someone privy to the same secrets as you are; a fellow initiate.
If you're looking for good herbs, I've been out of that business for a long time. But that doesn't mean I can't help you... let me call my Bro in the Know.
by john sequitur May 15, 2014
Noun: An image cropped to square with a vintage or other filter that is made without use of the Instagram application. Typically use by people who are too hip and/or poor to own a smartphone.

Verb: to create and/or share a snapshot as previously described. Could include Polaroids or doodles. Why not?
Yo man, check out all these old Fakestagrams I found in my mom's attic.
by john sequitur March 25, 2014

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