1 definition by Harcourt Fenton Mudd

Top Definition
The Real Chicken Curse
I was in Haiti on a relief mission to help islanders trying to survive a category 5 hurricane. My truck had broken down and I needed help. I ducked under the shelter of the doorway and knocked.

The door opened slowly to reveal one of the tallest, most beautiful women I had ever seen. Her skin was the color of the night and looking into her eyes, I felt like I was looking deep into the heart of the universe. "I am the High Priestess, Queen of the Eternal Power. I control all things good and bad. You may come in and I will fix your problems."
I looked up and saw dozens of roosters looking down on me from the rafters. "Those Gamecocks, are they your pets?" I asked. The Priestess laughed, "No, my son. They are my army. No one dares to go against me or they will suffer the wrath of the Chicken Curse."
"The Chicken Curse?" I blurted in shock. "I thought that was against the Gamecocks?" Her face suddenly turned angry and the storm seemed to grow instantly in intensity, lightening cracked around us, illuminating the birds above us and they, too, screamed in rage.
"The Gamecock uses the weapon of the Chicken Curse to defeat his enemy!"
"But, but... I heard that a Clemson man put the curse on the University of South Carolina..." She waved her hand and cut me off.
"Stupid! That man is dead. He was found with his heart and eyes eaten out, surrounded by my army of Fighting Gamecocks!"
"How does it work?" I asked.
"I will share this secret with you because you are pure of heart and true to the Gamecock: First you must gather the leg, wing and breastbones from a chicken you ate for dinner. Then take a symbol of your enemy - a statue, a piece of fur, a picture. Place the enmey on a paper with a prayer for the Gamecock to be by your side in battle, pile the chicken bones on top and light the paper on fire. As the fire consumes the paper, your prayer will be answered and the Gamecock Army will come in spirit to fill your heart with the power of a warrior that cannot be defeated! This is the power of the Chicken Curse. All peoples of the Gamecock nation can unite to become the most powerful force in the world!"
The sound of an engine came from outside the door. "You must go now. I have shared this powerful truth with you: The Gamecock can never be defeated if he believes in his God-given strength and is true of heart." She opened the door and my truck was there with the door open, Gamecocks perched on the hood and roof.
"How?..." I sputtered.
"Do not ask - only believe! Take my message to the Gamecock Nation and never fear again!"
The door shut and the rain stopped. I was alone again. The dawn lit the sky to the East and I went back to my mission.
Time to kick some Tiger tail.
by Harcourt Fenton Mudd August 01, 2012
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