A horribly written and uninspired story that masquerades as romance but actually amounts to an exasperating account of a rich dude who uses a young and naïve girl for deviant sex, again and again ad nauseum.
Good Looking Rich Guy: "I'm so complex and dark, I want you...I need you...." ::uses nearly sincere facial expression as he looks into Protagonist Girl's eyes.::
Protagonist Girl: "I want you, too. Oh, this feels so wrong!"
Good Looking Rich Guy: "I want you so much...but...it has to be this way. It can only be physical...because...I'm, like, emotionally deep?"
Protagonist Girl: "Let me in! Oh, I'll do whatever you want."
Good Looking Rich Guy: (to himself, under his breath) "Well, that was easy." (To Protagonist Girl) "...Great. You're so, err, amazing, baby. Put that leather mask on and sit in the corner until I'm done watching the game. Thanks."
Protagonist Girl: "Oh, Sir. You know how to tug on my heartstrings. You're so romantic."
Good Looking Rich Guy: "Yea, whatever, can you keep it down, babe, I'm trying to watch this. Thanks."
Office Woman Number 1: "I'm really getting into 'Fifty Shades of Grey,' it's so exciting and romantic."
Office Woman Number 2: "I know, I wish I had that kind of romance in my life."
Someone who respects women: "What the hell is wrong with you people?"
Susan B Anthony, after hearing news of the rampant popularity of the series, rolls over in her grave.