6 definitions by Douglas J. Falcon

Top Definition
Once an uplifting lexicon which was okay to watch every once in a while. Today, it's a preppy tenny bopper channel consisting of actors spawned in a genetics lab. Everything on Disney Chennel is overrated, such notable shows and actors include:

A show about a hefty psychic played by Raven Symone.
A show about living in a hotel with Ashley Tisdale as a receptionist. As a matter of fact. The scientists modded her to 23 years old because she was given "sensitive" traits.
A show about kids who think they are Harry Potter, such as Selena Gomez.
The Jonas Brothers, the most overrated band in history who make cameo appearances in all of Disney's modern day shows, and even had a TV Movie with Demi Lovato, which was awful. What kind of name is "Demi" anyway?
A bratty Disney Couple who also got their own documentaries. Vanessa Hudgens, can be summed up as a Filipino Paris Hilton who dresses sluttier. And Zac Enron-- I mean Zac Efron, who is clearly an idiot.
And the brattiest of all, Miley Cyrus who stars in a show about a country hick who is secretly a pop diva, that has sold out in concerts and marketing ploys.

All shows are unreal, with actors that are unreal who all can't sing. Infact the only real word they know is "gimme". A big shame comes from the American people who actually believe that they are perfect when clearly they are not even living humans.
Disney Channel Actors: Gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme!
Normal peroson: No.
Disney Channel Actors: Waaaaaaaaahh! Ahhhhhhhh!
by Douglas J. Falcon December 29, 2008
We'll let's just say she's nothing like a Disney Channel actress.

Let's look stuff up. Hands down Hayden is a far better dresser with a taste of a 30 year old. Whereas girls from Disney dress very skanky. Vanessa Hudgens always takes pictures with Hayden so she doesn't look bad. Well compared to her, she does, always. Hayden 1, Disney 0.

She actually started singing at a young age, can carry a note, and has won awards for songs in movies such as A Bug's Life. Today's Disney stars have no experience at singing but they do it anyway to get money and for people like girls and gays and shit to like them. Miley, Vanessa, Ashley, the Jonases, Demi, Selena, Zac? Pfft, do you see a pattern here? This just screams "marketing ploy", and their singing voices are used to kill terrorists. Hayden 2, Disney 0.

Speaking of marketing ploys, Hayden was offered a role in High School Musical. The smart decision was that she refused and did not want the burden of being a clingy attention whore, and would rather breakout as a big star when she turned an appropriate age and have a bright future ahead of her. The Disney actors either don't know how to count, or they are just spoiled brats who want everything now. In 3 years they will all go to rehab or jail or become washups. Hayden 3, Disney 0.

Hayden is also very down to earth, and puts people first over money or fame. She's also a spokeswoman for the Whaleman Foundation and once tried to stop whaling in person. She hopes to become the president of the organization when she retires. Disney? Pfft. Name one time they really went out of their way to help people. That Miley New Year's party was just a set up by MTV to get ratings. And the Jonases get paid for sponsoring the Salvation Army. So yeah name one time...I thought so. Hayden 4, Disney 0.

It's ironic to see that one 19 year old woman beats all of the Disney Channel (ages 14 - 23) in prestige, personality, and reputation. Plus she's hot!
Vanessa Hudgens: HAYDEN! How have you been?! Like, my black slutty whore costume is gonna melt any minute. Can I get a picture with you again so I won't look like shit?
Hayden Panettiere: Does it matter? (Oh god why?)
by Douglas J. Falcon January 18, 2009
1The Chosen One. As in the one chosen to tarnish the entire country with her success.
2The Bomb. By the bomb, I mean her music is shipped to enemy forces overseas, then terrorists listen to it and kill themselves.
3Hannah Montana. Clearly the most awful program in entertainment. It's even banned from countries with people who have sensitive hearing. So fake that is makes the Final Fantasy series look nonfictional.
4 A no talent attention whore who doesn't have friends and only acts for money and attention. Also if you're over 15 and enjoy her music or shows-- wow! That's like 5 million of you! Hohohoh...
God: *holding baby Miley* Billy Ray. I bestow upon you little baby Miley Cyrus. I present to you a queen and future ruler of entertainment. The chosen one! *drops baby Miley on her head* ...Oopsie...
by Douglas J. Falcon January 18, 2009
Kid's Choice Awards 2.0. Ages 5 - 8. Created by FOX. A rigged, scripted, unofficial awards show presenting fake awards to very "special" child celebrities who set bad examples to children of older or equal age, mostly to Miley Cyrus and the Jonas Brothers. They use laugh tracks to make it even more stupider.
Smart celebrity nominated for an award: I think I am too old for the Teen Choice Awards. I am not even going to attend, like I give a shit if I win one.
by Douglas J. Falcon March 22, 2009
A sports channel owned by Disney. Takes all their shit too far and when they're too butthurt over Favre, the Yankees, or anything in the MLB, then they won't show highlights when they are suppose to. Sportscenter is cheap too. They give it that ghetto like flavor because somehow they believe their main demographic is black street thugs. When they spew shit from their mouths the most, it's from the rigged championship games, and don't inform if they really were cheating because they hold bias opinions and like to show them off in an arrogant way (ex: the Steelers). Many athletes plan to sue ESPN for humilating them and for how much they can't report and anchor for caca.
ESPN anchor: Phillies win the World Series! Oh my god! Yes! Let's go and cover this for like 3 weeks.
Viewer: 3 weeks! The postseason only lasted for ONE week. Plus baseball sucks. *changes channel and eventually flips back tp ESPN where it shows the anchorman raping Favre*
ESPN Anchor: Uh, OH NO!
Favre: *girly scream*
by Douglas J. Falcon February 16, 2009
Okay. Not good, great, bad, or terrible. Just okay. One would come to realize when coming across something like an interview on TV or in a magazine, if you can at least sustain the sight of that weird face of hers. Or finding out that the porn star and the prettyboy cunt aren't her friends anymore. Or even just because she's not with Disney anymore and that biohazard blond hair is now a strange colored brown. But still be kept caution after hearing that she's still eight kinds of people at once, and she is that old to still be wanting anything she wants.

Great - Obviously, no female stars have gotten here.
Good - Hayden Panettiere/Taylor Swift
Okay - Ashley Tisdale
Bad - Projects "Demi"/"Selena"/others from Disney/Jamie Lynn
Terrible - Projects "Miley"/"Vanessa".
Mary: What do you think of this girl?
Tim: Meh. She's Ashley Tisdale.
Mary: NUH UH!!! She can't be! Only Hannah Montana could be 2 different people! AHHHH!!!
Tim: No, you fucktard. I mean she's not bad. She's okay, but keep looking.
by Douglas J. Falcon June 08, 2009

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