Thou, that doeseth decieve thy neighbour via misconception of mortal bar fighting wounds by way of an eye patch.
Jayden: Dude, look at this nasty stab wound I got in a bar fight. In the face! (Points at eyepatch.)
Random Dude 1: Woah!
Random Dude 2: Man, that Jayden is bullshittin' 'bout that eye stab thing, just like the time he said he beat up that Subway manager
Random Dude 1: Yeah, I heard he just got conjunctivitis and couldn't be fucked going to see a doctor.
Random dude 2: What a fucking Part Time Pirate...