D. Gould's definitions

back alley parkin'

Occurs during the act of "doggy-style" sexual intercourse. When the giver attempts to enter the receiver's anus, without first requesting permission to do so. Usually resulting in the incompletion of said act.

"Homes trying to slip in, a back alley parkin' job on his woman. But she revoked his driver's licence!"

by D. Gould January 6, 2006

repeat offender

A customer, who habitually returns purchases, for no good reason, other than to be a complete pain in the ass. During the original purchase, they bombard the salesperson, with questions regarding refund and return policies. So frequently and with such conviction, the salesperson can almost predict them coming back within 48 hours or less. This process can possibly go on for months, before it is finally resolved. Easily spotted, because everything they say about the product is jaded and pessimistic.

"That guy's my 'repeat offender'. Send someone else to deal with him. On second, thought? FUCK THAT SHIT. Throw his ass out, and call the cops if me makes a fuss!"

by D. Gould January 13, 2006

Tom Cruise complex

A short guy, who won't allow his wife or girlfriend to wear high heels, because it makes her taller then himself. Name appropriately after Tom Cruise: The Scientology Midget of Hollywood.

"Good thing I don't have Tom Cruise complex. My girlfriend has a closet filled with platform boots."

by D. Gould November 5, 2006

traffic cop

A blunt force object (such as a hammer or crowbar), carried on a motorcycle, used to extract revenge. When a vehicle is driven too carelessly next to a rider, and they are subsequently almost run over, the "traffic cop" is withdrawn from its respective sheath, and used to smash the windshield of the offending party.

"I fitted the frame of my bike with a traffic cop. Ya know....Just in case."

by D. Gould January 15, 2007

grabbing air

What you do, when a cop rolls up on you, and tells you to "put your hands in the air".

"The Five-O rolled up on me during a B&E. And before I knew it, I was grabbing air."

by D. Gould January 25, 2006

gastric lube job

When a chick deepthroats too aggressively, and her gag reflex causes her to unexpectedly vomit on your cock.

"My date gave me a gastric lube job the other night, in the front seat of my car. It still fucking stinks so bad, I had to take the bus to work!"

by D. Gould May 1, 2006

kept bitch

A person in a long term, sexual relationship, who does not work. But instead, is taken care of financially. Only with the unspoken understanding, they must peform certain duties, to remain in said lifestyle. Term most often applies to females, but may include males as well.

"That chick hasn't worked one day in her entire life. She's a one-hundred percent kept bitch."

by D. Gould January 23, 2006