A husky, unattractive creature indigenous to the midwest. It has underdeveloped senses, and sometimes can seem almost completely oblivious to the most obvious stimuli. Some zoologists believe this is due to its preternatural self-absorption, which at times leaves it at risk to attack from its natural predators.
"What do I have to do to get through to this guy? Tattoo my feelings on his forehead? What a cardone!