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6 definitions by Ape Creature

 
1.
1.) A mass of feces, alcohol (typically Jack Daniels) and Creole food, or any extremely spicy ethnic food, that expels from the anus typically between the hours of 6am to 8am.

Flaming Squirrels give the excruciating sensation of a live animal with sharp teeth and claws that has been set aflame and wants out of your asshole... now.

The Flaming Squirrel is always followed by hours of headache, stomach pains and extremely sore, burning and tender butthole.

2.) A small fuzzy mammal that has been set on fire.
1.) "We went to that Creole place last night, ate the gumbo and got hammered on Jack and Cokes. When I got up this morning, I shit a Flaming Squirrel."

2.) "This Flaming Squirrel shot out of my ass this morning. I had to moisten the toilet paper to put out the fire."

3.) "I took a Flaming Squirrel before work. My stomach aches, my head is banging and it feels like my leather doughnut has been dipped in battery acid."
by Ape Creature February 24, 2011
 
2.
1.) A phrase used upon completion of any unconventional repair of a broken object. These repairs usually include, but are not limited to, duct tape, bungee cords and a hack saw.
2.) "There, I fixed it." may also be used after successfully attaching one item to another using the same unconventional, sometimes unethical, methods of taping, nailing, sawing, cramming, cutting and "resculpturing".
1.) "I have a huge crack in my windshield. Hand me that duct tape. There, I fixed it."

2.) "My doorbell stopped working, so I filled my garbage disposal with spoons, duct taped an old extension cord to the power switch, then ran the cord through a hole I drilled in the front door. All you gotta do is give the cord a little tug. There, I fixed it."
by Ape Creature June 22, 2011
 
3.
The beautiful designs and markings left on the inside of the toilet bowl after taking an extra-firm dump.
The firmness of the turd creates a "crayon effect".
Cave paintings will not wash away with flushing leaving but will deteriorate over time, leaving them for your friends and family to enjoy for days or weeks.
Wooo! That fudge dragon I pushed out of me left some cave paintings that looks like Charlie Sheen. Enjoy!
by Ape Creature June 16, 2011
 
4.
Small pieces of lint that appear on your feet after removing your socks.
Hey, sucka... you should really wash your feet before putting on your flip-flops. Them sock fossils make you look like you have hobbit feet.
by Ape Creature June 16, 2011
 
5.
1.) One who's world only consists of themself. Typically male.
2.) A person that speaks loudly about themselves and all their accomplishments for the sole purpose of demeaning others.
3.) see "douchbag"
ex. "You see that guy with the v-neck and the frapaccino? He's been talking about his new website like it's the new "facebook" for over an hour. I'm gonna stab that Me Monster in the face with this pen."

ex. "Holy shit! That guy just double-parked his BMW in a handicapped space at the retirement home to use the bathroom... AND he pissed all over the seat!!! What a Me Monster!!"

ex. "Hey, Me Monster! Your golf clubs aren't considered carry-on. Fuckin dick."
by Ape Creature March 08, 2011
 
6.
A race of people from the Middle East that are ashamed of the actual country they come from. They use the term "Persian" because the world generally frowns on "Iranian" or "Iraqi" after 9/11.
Persians generally move to the U.S. while the entire family lives in the same house. They purchase expensive cars and clothes to show how "rich" they are.
Persians are easily spotted by the slick black hair, uni-brow, dark-complexion and INTENSE fragrance of cologne.
Persians may also be dressed in clothes that may look rediculous to one that is not accustomed to Persians, like black shirts with shiny gold images on them, mirror sun glasses and tight jeans with the trademark "artificial worn look" on the front.

Warning: Never try to sell anything to a Persian. Their overly-aggressive haggling will overwhelm a non-Persian. If you must, raise the price by 20% before and let them feel proud of how amazing they are at bargaining when you give them 10% off. They will feel like the Sultan of Persia, you will have made them paid more just for giving you such a hard time.

Iteresting Fact:
Some Persians males will go as far as to say they are "Italian" or "European" just to bang stupid white chicks because their family will never allow the banging of a non-Persian.
I was trying to sell my TV to this Persian guy. It took me 2 hours of his haggling to get me down to $150. I was going to sell it for $125, but when I saw he was Persian, I knew I was in for a ride.
by Ape Creature March 08, 2011