yeah i got yellow teeth, bad breath, one lung, no voicebox, and stage four terminal cancer.
but i don't fucking give a fuck. i'll show you, pass me my fuckin cigarettes.
but i don't fucking give a fuck. i'll show you, pass me my fuckin cigarettes.
by dane's boy April 27, 2008
Tobacco, rolled in a paper. Then smoked. Most of the time contains a filter. Cigarettes kill you. I love them. I love the way they smell, I love the way they taste, I love the way they feel. They will kill me and I am fine with that. If you don't love them, don't smoke and shut the fuck up.
by jakeisuseless March 9, 2005
The most blessed item on earth (other than beer and sex). People who smoke pay more taxes therefore we are patriotic. Cigarettes are usually found with a filter. People who don't smoke should invest in a filter, bitches. God knows, I would never smoke without one. In today's modern society, smokers are a rare breed of people who could give two shits about health, yellow skin, and stinky clothes because we realize that cough medicine is good, it'll help you get better. Soap will make your skin a normal color, and for God's sake, if your clothes stink, then wash them. And ater all, your gonna die someday, and who the hell wants to be old with wrinkly balls and a penis that no longer works? I will most likley never quit smoking because...
A) It is my civic duty to put into our government system.
2) I'm not a big fan of old people, don't wanna become one.
C) It pisses people off something fierce.
Next) Beer does not reach it's maximum potential in taste without the wonderful taste of a Camel Light.
5) I want to die of something of my choosing, when I get lung caner, the doctors will put me on so much pain medication that I will not notice that the copious amounts of blood that I am coughing out have put my cigarette out.
F) Shit, the movie stars do it.
Times To Smoke:
-When stressed
-After sex
-While drinking
-After waking up
-Before going to sleep
-While playing poker
-While bored
-While on smoke break
-Before meals
-After meals
-When driving
-When drowsy
-When drunk
-When confused
-While deep in thought
-When around others who smoke
-When writing this definition
-When scared
-When nervous
-When around people who DON'T smoke
-When doing laundry (i.e. stinky clothes)
-Upon buying a new pack
-When introducing yourself
-When you are living life to it's fullest
-When living fast and dying young
-When drinking coffee
-When coughing
-While watching a movie
-When angry
-After class
These are just a few good reasons and times to smoke. If you do not like smoking, do not smoke. If you do not like cigarette smoke, get a filter. If you don't like smokers, don't date them. And for fuck's sake, DON'T i repeat, DON'T tell a smoker that smoking is bad, we already know and furthermore...we don't care.
-
A) It is my civic duty to put into our government system.
2) I'm not a big fan of old people, don't wanna become one.
C) It pisses people off something fierce.
Next) Beer does not reach it's maximum potential in taste without the wonderful taste of a Camel Light.
5) I want to die of something of my choosing, when I get lung caner, the doctors will put me on so much pain medication that I will not notice that the copious amounts of blood that I am coughing out have put my cigarette out.
F) Shit, the movie stars do it.
Times To Smoke:
-When stressed
-After sex
-While drinking
-After waking up
-Before going to sleep
-While playing poker
-While bored
-While on smoke break
-Before meals
-After meals
-When driving
-When drowsy
-When drunk
-When confused
-While deep in thought
-When around others who smoke
-When writing this definition
-When scared
-When nervous
-When around people who DON'T smoke
-When doing laundry (i.e. stinky clothes)
-Upon buying a new pack
-When introducing yourself
-When you are living life to it's fullest
-When living fast and dying young
-When drinking coffee
-When coughing
-While watching a movie
-When angry
-After class
These are just a few good reasons and times to smoke. If you do not like smoking, do not smoke. If you do not like cigarette smoke, get a filter. If you don't like smokers, don't date them. And for fuck's sake, DON'T i repeat, DON'T tell a smoker that smoking is bad, we already know and furthermore...we don't care.
-
Johnny Non-smoker: "You know, smoking is bad for your health."
Me: "OH MY FUCKING GOD, THANK FUCKING CHRIST, YOU SAVED ME, I HAD NO IDEA THAT IT WAS BAD FOR MY HEALTH, I'm so glad that a person such as yourself has come into my life and saved me from the dangers of cigarettes. You are truley a blessed person."
Johnny Non-Smoker: "Well, man, I thought it was just the right thing to do."
Me: "Oh wait, I forgot, I could give two shits, I hope you die of second hand smoke. Where the fuck is my lighter?"
Me: "OH MY FUCKING GOD, THANK FUCKING CHRIST, YOU SAVED ME, I HAD NO IDEA THAT IT WAS BAD FOR MY HEALTH, I'm so glad that a person such as yourself has come into my life and saved me from the dangers of cigarettes. You are truley a blessed person."
Johnny Non-Smoker: "Well, man, I thought it was just the right thing to do."
Me: "Oh wait, I forgot, I could give two shits, I hope you die of second hand smoke. Where the fuck is my lighter?"
by zac mcclendon June 1, 2006
by SuperSonicX September 24, 2005
The office workers stood outside their building shivered in the rain as they smoked cigarettes and desperately tried to drain the life out of themselves.
by limecoke9 August 27, 2014
1) A valid reason to argue with someone. 2) A delicious taste of death in a stick. 3) Something you are required to do in the military. 4) Stress relief from the assholes who tell you smoking is bad.
Mr. No-Smoke, "You know, smoking will kill you."
Me, "Yeah, I have a theory on that. The average lifespan of a human is nearing 100 years old and I refuse to regress back to childhood."
Mr. No-Smoke, "what does that have to do with smoking a cigarette?"
Me, "It means that I'm killing myself slightly quicker in order to be able to wipe my own ass until my dying day."
Me, "Yeah, I have a theory on that. The average lifespan of a human is nearing 100 years old and I refuse to regress back to childhood."
Mr. No-Smoke, "what does that have to do with smoking a cigarette?"
Me, "It means that I'm killing myself slightly quicker in order to be able to wipe my own ass until my dying day."
by hunteddemonoid January 24, 2009
Something that non-smokers hate, and smokers love. What many people don't understand is that smoking is physically and emotionally addictive. As a smoker, I am tired of hearing non-smokers talk about an addiction they have never had. All smokers understand the damage they are doing to their body, but obviously since we are still smoking we don't care. Smoking Cigarettes are just as unhealthy as unhealthy diets. Since 63% of America is overweight, and 20% of them smoke I think that people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.
NS: "Oh, my God. Smoking is so bad for you."
S: "I know. I heard that in 1992"
NS: "I mean, How can you run, or be active with all that crap in your lungs?"
S: "I can run faster than you with this cigarette in my mouth."
NS: "...I don't know about that"
S: "I'll put out this cigarette when you stop eating 6,000 calories a day. How's that?"
NS: "I'm just saying, Cigarettes will kill you"
S: "So will smokers if you keep harassing them."
S: "I know. I heard that in 1992"
NS: "I mean, How can you run, or be active with all that crap in your lungs?"
S: "I can run faster than you with this cigarette in my mouth."
NS: "...I don't know about that"
S: "I'll put out this cigarette when you stop eating 6,000 calories a day. How's that?"
NS: "I'm just saying, Cigarettes will kill you"
S: "So will smokers if you keep harassing them."
by Getyourbellyoffmyrights August 29, 2011