Jubiju

A Jubiju is a traditional ceremony held by those of Jewish descent in which the oldest son of each family holds a soggy biscuit in their left hand and taps it to their kneecap on a cold summer day. Having a tender biscuit is seen as a disrespect for the proceedings which a Jubiju entails. Three rabbis must be present, and no red meat is allowed within a 57-foot (17.4 meters) of the ritual site.

Jew 1: Schmul, my brother, we must gather the biscuits. The Jubiju will be underway soon!

Jew 2: Make sure they are not tender, Epstein... and what about the rabbis?

Jew 1: Don't worry, Judah went out to fetch them nearly three hours ago!

Jew 2: Alright... I will tend to preparing the boys.

Jew 3: *Walks in* Shalom!

Jew 1: Samuel... what is that you are eating..!?!?

Jew 3: Oh, just a 72 oz. tenderloin, why?

Jew 2: NO!! We mustn't allow ANY red meat within the vicinity!

Jew 3: Oh, why of course! It completely slipped my mind... my greatest of apologies, kindred brethren. May the one and only Jehova look upon my soul with mercy and grace, for I have forsaken Him; as the Lord Himself said, "Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted..."-

Jew 1: ...alright, Samuel, save the banter for the Jubiju!

by UrbanMasterBait August 8, 2018