1. (n.) {Origin: English, ~1970(?)} A place in Western Wisconsin that epitomizes and showcases the fancies of (primarily) white people from rural American upbringing. Mostly, activities are centered around floating down the river on old inner tubes with coolers that start filled with beer and end up empty.

2. (n.) A place parents sometimes mistakenly bring their families on a weekend in mid-summer.

3. (adj.) {Origin: English, 2008} Used to describe activities, events, or people deemed unsophisticated and/or unbecoming of a person with any shred of decency or self-respect. (see also: redneck, white trash)

1. "We ran out of beer half-way down the Apple River last weekend, and then I peed on Ben while he was passed out."

2. "I saw my first male genitalia when I was 10 years old because my parents brought me to the Apple River."

3. "That was sooooo Apple River when Bill shotgunned that Old Milwaukee and threw up in the microwave."
by Minnesota Mike August 17, 2008
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