there was an old lady with skin patches who swallowed a horse 

A dark story for children that ends with the words "Perhaps She'll Die", with the exception of the very end where the old lady is finally dead.

Guy 1: Did you hear how there was an old lady with skin patches who swallowed a horse?

Guy 2: No what happened to her?

Guy 1: She died

Guy 2: Why did nobody help her?

Guy 1: She died after she ate the horse with patches and became deaf and her skin fell off

Guy 2: Wtf!

there was an old lady with skin patches who swallowed a horse by panda_patches May 7, 2013

Get yo old lady chancletas outa here 

when a kid, a teenager or a young adult wears old ass chancletas.
(or wearing your grandpa's or grandma's shoes)

me: *looks down to see what your wearing*
you: what?
me: why are you wearing that?
you: uhm.. because I was fishing...?
me: JUST GET YO OLD LADY CHANCLETAS OUTA HERE OH MY GOD THEY'RE SO OLD!!
you: uh...
me: look my chancletas are better than yours!

Get yo old lady chancletas outa here by the boring one August 7, 2019

bucket of old lady fugarts

What your mother chows down on before taking you to bible camp.

"What's wrong with Mommy's lips, Daddy? Is it the bucket of old lady fugarts?"
"Shut up and pray harder you disappointing, ugly, fuck"

bucket of old lady fugarts by ps i hate you October 11, 2008

Angry old lady

Judy

Judy is just a angry old lady

Angry old lady by Themango2 February 13, 2022

haggard old lady 

Somebody who looks on the brink of death due to exhaustion, (therefore looking like a lady who is ancient as hell) this can usually be fixed by an alarm clock and a sensible bed time.

Rosie hasn’t been sleeping due to family issues, the principle pulled her in and called her a haggard old lady. How DARE she look after her family. An alarm clock is overdue for certain.

haggard old lady by Irishasafupa September 4, 2023

cranky old lady 

the cranky old lady is someone who asked you to take down your trampoline and puts a no parking sign next to your car. basically she is a difficult old woman who thinks all expats are rude.

“did you see the cranky old lady?”

“yes” jude said “we all put sausages covered in ketchup on her car!”

*the group cackles*

cranky old lady by Black Nose Charles II December 28, 2023

handling the old lady 

Another term for “fingering the ol’ foxhole”; female masturbation.

Martha found herself late for the bus because she was handling the old lady.

handling the old lady by Hswan33 May 6, 2018