Hipster paralysis 

A chronic motor neuron condition typified by persons exiting the subway and suddenly freezing in their tracks while staring at their phones until achieving a GPS lock on their location.

I nearly tripped over this guy in full hipster paralysis on my way over here.

Hipster paralysis by Noumenontreal September 4, 2013

dickhead paralysis

occurs when you are surrounded by a dickhead.

eg. ahh i cant think right now, ive got dickhead paralysis. it only happens when im around dickhead's

dickhead paralysis by braddles April 12, 2014

Urinalysis paralysis 

When you become too nervous to pee during a drug test. Can be caused by fear of testing positive or just plain situational discomfort.

Man, with the inspector standing right there, I got serious urinalysis paralysis.

Urinalysis paralysis by Hoser2 March 2, 2018

Puppy Paralysis 

When one is afraid to disturb a sleeping dog laying on their lap.

"Hey man, I know I was supposed to be the best man at your wedding, but I was suffering from a bad case of Puppy Paralysis."

Puppy Paralysis by Shaggy702 December 16, 2018

Pussy paralysis 

When you cannot get up because your cat is on your lap.

I was late for work because i had pussy paralysis.

Pussy paralysis by Junebug333 August 10, 2019

Perfection Paralysis 

when you can't seem to make any progress on your w.i.p. because your standards exceed your current skill level.

artist; i know this one part on this drawing doesn't look right, but nothing i try makes it look better, and i feel like i can't move on to other projects until i do.

friend; sounds like you got a bad case of perfection paralysis, my friend. you should find a different way to do it that's more familiar, or buckle down and do some studies, then come back to it. or, y'know, just accept it's not gonna be perfect and finish it anyway. maybe you can re-do it in a couple years to show how you've improved.

Perfection Paralysis by AlphaGodith January 10, 2022

angry bird paralysis 

the condition that occurs following extended time spent playing angry birds while using the toilet that results in the loss of regular leg function due to numbness...may also cause ring around the ass. (a relative of the "crippler shit" that also causes leg numbness due to long bowel movements)

Dave went into the restroom and saw me lying on the floor of the handicap stall next to my cell phone. He said "what the hell is wrong with you?" I said "I just beat 14 levels of angry birds.....I CAN'T WALK, I got ANGRY BIRD PARALYSIS!!!"

angry bird paralysis by robharry October 23, 2011