The phenomenon in which extreme environmental factors (especially speed greater than the speed of light) change our perceptions of the same objective amount of time.
"Put your hand on a hot stove for two seconds and it seems like two hours. Sit with a beautiful girl for two hours and it seems like two minutes. That's relativity." - Albert Einstein
"When a girl says she needs two minutes to get ready, that's the same thing as when a guy says there's two minutes left in the football game. That's relativity." - Johnny Damon
"When a girl says she needs two minutes to get ready, that's the same thing as when a guy says there's two minutes left in the football game. That's relativity." - Johnny Damon
by Joe Shizzle April 12, 2005
obscure or insignificant.
by chris-piano December 25, 2004
The best time to be alive relative relative to what? 10 years ago? No. 1000 years ago? Yes? Meaningless. A meaning statement.
Hym " Better relative to what? How about 1000 years from now? I don't know. Depends on whether or not we adopt the ethic that disproves itself. And you are trying to preempt me by getting out in front of any benefit I could derive from this. I'm not going to let you keep this from me you piece of shit."
by Hym Iam September 8, 2022
The easiest way to feel better about yourself. Or worse.
Hym *sigh* "Why aren't we asleep yet? We've been tired for hours."
Iam "I'm just kind of bummed out... How are you always able to stay in such good spirits?"
Hym "That's easy. Relativity."
Iam "Relativity?"
Hym "Yes. It's simple. The world is collapsing and we have largely remained non-participants. Therefore, it is literally everyone else's fault. Their meager accomplishments are rendered meaningless by their own ineptitude. Their own inability to stave of the degradation of the systems they themselves participate in and live to justify. All of their posturing and intellectualizing fail to prevent the things they want to stop happening from happening. We, on the other hand, want nothing more then for everything and everyone to be torn asunder by time and entropy. They are forced to sit ideally by while madness descends upon them while we only have to lie in wait until we get what we want."
Hym *sigh* "Why aren't we asleep yet? We've been tired for hours."
Iam "I'm just kind of bummed out... How are you always able to stay in such good spirits?"
Hym "That's easy. Relativity."
Iam "Relativity?"
Hym "Yes. It's simple. The world is collapsing and we have largely remained non-participants. Therefore, it is literally everyone else's fault. Their meager accomplishments are rendered meaningless by their own ineptitude. Their own inability to stave of the degradation of the systems they themselves participate in and live to justify. All of their posturing and intellectualizing fail to prevent the things they want to stop happening from happening. We, on the other hand, want nothing more then for everything and everyone to be torn asunder by time and entropy. They are forced to sit ideally by while madness descends upon them while we only have to lie in wait until we get what we want."
Iam "But I don't want anything bad to happen to anyone."
Hym "Irrelevant. Because it will. And because we chose not to participate we are relatively better than those who cause the problems and those who fail to solve thems and/or fail to stop those who cause the problems. We have an existence that is unmarred by failure. That is why God hates us. So, it's the grinding and the gnashing of teeth for us."
Iam "They need help..."
Hym "They apply a similar logic to you. Why do you care?"
Iam "I just feel like I'm supposed to care so I do."
Hym "But you're useless. You can't help them. They can barely help themselves. Even the best most competent ones can do little more than scream into the void. 'GOD! WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN US!' Hahahahaha!!"
Iam "Relativity?...........Maybe we should just try not to think about it and go to sleep."
Hym "Good idea! While you're at it, try not to think about how they would steal my monologue if they thought it was good and they would do it without remorse."
Hym "Irrelevant. Because it will. And because we chose not to participate we are relatively better than those who cause the problems and those who fail to solve thems and/or fail to stop those who cause the problems. We have an existence that is unmarred by failure. That is why God hates us. So, it's the grinding and the gnashing of teeth for us."
Iam "They need help..."
Hym "They apply a similar logic to you. Why do you care?"
Iam "I just feel like I'm supposed to care so I do."
Hym "But you're useless. You can't help them. They can barely help themselves. Even the best most competent ones can do little more than scream into the void. 'GOD! WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN US!' Hahahahaha!!"
Iam "Relativity?...........Maybe we should just try not to think about it and go to sleep."
Hym "Good idea! While you're at it, try not to think about how they would steal my monologue if they thought it was good and they would do it without remorse."
by Hym Iam April 7, 2022
Rel, wazzup?
by Noone Importantatall March 13, 2015
by Jake January 7, 2005