Microsoft Surface 

Quite possibly the coolest thing Microsoft has created since the Xbox 360 in 2005. It is a tablet with an interface like its sister product Windows 8. The coolest feature is the ability to attach a soft keyboard that doubles as a cover, dubbed Touch Cover, while putting the tablet up on a built-in stand. So it's almost a touchscreen laptop.

Microsoft Surface proves that Microsoft can be a little like Apple, sometimes.

Microsoft Surface by Hmail July 23, 2012

Microsoft Support Centre 

The people who always tell you that "Restarting your computer" will always solve the problem.

And when they do have to go further than that, they just keep arguing with you about your own PC. I hate them.

Larry: Hi Microsoft, my PC has just been hacked and my hard drive has veen deleted and now my PC won't turn on.

MSC: This can be easily resolved. Restart your computer.

Larry: How, it won't turn back on?

MSC: Press the power button

Larry: YEAH, BUT IT DOESNT TURN ON AT ALL!

MSC: We will not argue with you sir. Call back when you are experiencing technical difficulties on a higher level.

Larry: I'm going to blow up Your support centre.

MSC: Is that a virus?

*Larry hangs up*

Microsoft Support Centre by Cloud November 14, 2004

microsoft store 

Basically an Apple Store with Microsoft products. No real creativity, even the front looks like an Apple Store!

Bill Gates "Hey, let's make a store that's an Apple Store, put a Windows logo on it, sell Windows computers, and call it a Microsoft Store!"

Steve Ballmer "Yeah!"

microsoft store by IAmNotSashaFierce August 5, 2010

microsoft sam 

The voce module that comes with 200 and XP to help blind users use the computer. also very funny to make say things..

Funny things to make microsoft sam say:

1. piss! Piss out the ass!

2. Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!

3. fuck shit piss cunt tits cocksucker motherfucker twat

4. just mash the keyboard and ask Sam to pronounce what results.

microsoft sam by g-pain December 28, 2007

Microsoft Second

A screen during any installation in Windows showing "1 second remaining" that lasts a few minutes.

"I don't have time to talk to you, I'm almost done installing the game - it says I only have one second remaining."

"Dude, you have plenty of time, it's a Microsoft second."

Microsoft Second by SsurebreC August 1, 2012

Microsoft Steamer 

A metaphorical variation on the Cleveland Steamer. It occurs when someone expects something to work, only to see it fail at a critical moment, leaving them feeling like someone has just shit on their face.

Person A: "I'd stay way from Michael right now. He installed Windows 7 last week, and just got a Microsoft steamer when he tried to print out his term paper."

Person B: "Idiot. What did he expect?"

Microsoft Steamer by M. Docherty February 22, 2010

Microsoft Sans Serif 

Without a doubt the best font and most widely accepted as the best thing since sliced fonts

n00b 1: Yo, check out that guys font, it's so dope, is it Times New Roman?
n00b 2: No fool, that shit's Old School, this is the modern script...The Microsoft Sans Serif shit man!

Microsoft Sans Serif by Cranberry_Svenson November 30, 2005