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Closet Politician

Anyone who has political views and or opinions, but are too afraid to say what they think to remain neutral and avoid confrontation.
CNN Reporter: "What are your views on the Wall?"
Closet Politician: *Oh no, what should I say?* * If I tell CNN what I truly think, they will twist my words and I'll somehow end up on Top 10 worst criminals in the world.*
CNN Reporter: "Sir?"
Closet Politician: "Give me one second, I'm still thinking."
CNN Reporter: "It shouldn't be that difficult, it's not like I'm asking you to do a backflip?"
Closet Politician: "Did you just ask me to do a backflip?"
CNN Reporter: *Before reporter can get a word out*
Closet Politician: *Does backflip*

CNN Reporter: *Sighs and walks off, talking aloud to himself* " How are we going to make fake news if everyone is too afraid to tell us their political views, that is the fifteenth backflip someone has done today."
by Mr.TrollNDaNTaNet January 31, 2019
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polotician

Politicians are people that like to dance around in their underwear.

Poloticians don't exist.
by Clinker November 4, 2007
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politician's promise

Belch,fart,vomit or any other kind of rotten spew that could come out of a person or animal. It is named such because a politican's promise and a burb are worth about the same thing,only difference is that most people excuse themselves after a burp.
BUUURRRRRPPPPP!!!!
Dude nice politician's promise!
by rockymntnoysters January 20, 2009
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politicious

Normally used to describe low life politicians or people who use politics to get their own way, twist the truth or make themselves seem more important than they are.
Gordon Brown is a right politicious bastard.
by Lucifus October 18, 2008
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Politician

A person skilled in the art of using many numerous multifarious words to say very little in the hope that some poor sucker or rich capitalist will be fooled into donating money to their election campaign.

Synonym: See skank, slime, crud, muck, scum
Antonym: See swimmer, runner, mountain climber, motorcyclist
Politician Mitch McConnell Ted Cruz republican Tea Party
by Cannoliamo June 23, 2013
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Politician

A lying scumbag that tricks people into voting him into office and then gathers campaign funds to spend on martini and women.
"Cut it out-you're being such a politician."
by TheProtoss October 5, 2013
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