give birth to a politician

to have a bowel movement, to defecate

I'll be right back I have to give birth to a politician.

by The Return of Light Joker December 9, 2009

Irritable Politician Syndrome

This is when you just want to live your life, but your politicians keep getting upset and making your life a living hell. This condition is similar to Irritable Bowel Syndrome. Like Bowels, politicians always have shit coming out of their mouths. Substitute 'politician' for 'bowel' and you get IPS.

Worker #1:"I'm glad election year is passed. My IPS was about to drive me insane."

Worker #2:"Oh, yeah? You got Irritable Bowel Syndrome?"

Worker #1:"No. Irritable Politician Syndrome. Same symptoms, different assholes."

by IndependentForever November 3, 2009

Politician's thumb

The way a politician holds their hand in a first with their thumb used as the pointer, because focus groups said that using a finger was too aggressive.

Originally pioneered by Barack Obama, and used by most politicians since then who don't want to be seen as overly aggressive.

Did you see the rendition of Nikki Haley in the SNL episode of the Republican presidential candidates debate? She nailed the politician's thumb.

by Werdenschmidt November 13, 2023

Politicians

You have staff, right? You have staff... who manage your affairs, your campaign, day-to-day activities, etc... Right? Sooo.... How are you not a retard who won a popularity contest? You sound like a retard. That’s what retards have. That’s what a retards life is like.... a waitress can do your job.... because your job is basically showing up where you’re told to show up... your job requirements are basically.... being able to read and write? And I need to work harder... to generate more money... for you... so you can work less.... I mean... you sit in a chair.... 80% of you are geriatric.... I should work harder though... that’s what should happen... so you can make more money... and you could say “But if you work harder you’ll make more money too” but... only one of us is doing the work... and I can turn on Cspan... and I can read the bills... and then (at that point) I’m basically doing your job... but for free... but I should work harder... so a literal retard can stop working in a last ditch effort to sponge up as much money as possible before they die... and who gets their money when they die (the money they took from everyone)... and who gets the money when they die? Fuck trophies... but it’s ok... generational wealth only lasts 3 generations... because the people at the top change.... because sometimes rich people only have daughters... and all of the names change... And that means I should work harder? Huh..... Ok.....

Hym “Sooo.... Politicians.... you said all of that.... and what I hear is that this is basically group-home world.... I hate to break it to you but Orwell is already here. I mean... I’m being punished for wrong-think... actively. People have deluded themselves into believing it’s necessary to engage in a selective surveillance state campaign... Oh wait.... ✌️✊✌️No one can hear me✌️✊✌️ (except for the people who read it every day and reference it every day and the guy who un-ironically said this to me as though he didn’t read it and isn’t responding to it actively). Oh well 🤷 ♂️ I’ll just keep talking.“

by Hym Iam November 1, 2022

Politician

Parasite

There’’s still house full of politicians at parliament. Well serves you right for not calling “Rentokil” to clear out those parasites.

by 1BigEck January 10, 2024

(insert politician here) supporter

Someone who thinks their favorite politician is the best one in the world. Their politician can do no wrong and anyone who supports anyone else is a dumbass racist redneck twig boy idiot

Guy 1: who’s your favorite politician?
Guy 2: I’m kind of an (insert politician here) supporter.
Guy 1: OH MY GOD YOU RACIST SEXIST IDIOT
Guy 1: Whoa what are you talking about?

by Boom stick August 9, 2019

Kill All The Politicians

THAT is why they are doing it. Covid-19 is likely their plan for when they think the public has turned on them. This is them torturing a dissident after they shut down the country to save their own hides, did nothing to protect your kids, stole from me, collapsed the economy. They are not laughing at ME. They are laugh at YOU. Because you are completely powerless to stop them from doing ANYTHING. You can't sway them. Oh hey, look at that! 2 senators just got murdered in their own home... And their names are the same as my parents...

Hym "They responded to the wrong threat. They mounted a campaign to get the rape porn off the internet though didn't they? They shut down the site to stop me from spouting the Anti-Semitism didn't they? And then they CLEARLY colluded with the media to do this to ME didn't they? And here I sit as they try to erase me from history. 'Kill all the politicians' is why I'm sitting here. Not 'I'll murder your kids.' Not 'People are manufacturing the symptoms of schizophrenia around people.' They sat through hundreds of movies and shows about me but they did not lift a single finger to stop what is happening to me. And they won't lift a finger to stop it from happening to you."

by Hym Iam June 14, 2025