surface pro

An expression referring to a type of person who maintains an image or an implied level of professional skill, while not having a clue as to what the fuck they're supposed to be doing. Often has a truly vague job description and earns twice your paycheck or more.

Q: Shouldn't we run this by that guy who handles strategic corporate digital alliances or something?
A: Don't even bother. Dude's just a surface pro.

by Hansel San November 30, 2017

Surfacism

The belief that something of close resemblance, popularity, or attraction holds more value or credibility than something else.

SERR-FISS-IZ-UHM

John: Going to Venus and possible colonizing it is far more plausible than colonizing Mars.

Jill: No way! The colonization of Mars has been talked about for decades and now Elon Musk is on board.

John: Don't succumb to surfacism Jill!

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Tamra: You didn't give Terrence the job because he was black?

Andres: I thought African American's tended to be less productive, so I gave it to Kyle instead.

by Incendio September 11, 2018

Surface putter

Someone who, instead of putting things away (ie: keys, purses, loose change, etc), puts them on any flat surface. The accumulation of such items usually results in the creation of a DOOM box.

"The dining room table is so cluttered with random items because my wife is a surface putter. I'm fixin' to make her a DOOM box."

by firepitt September 29, 2022

surface mount

When you blow your load on any surface and pushe someone on to the sticky puddle

When we were done banging I surface mounted Kim to her counter.

by DumDumDugan December 21, 2016

surface creep

The act of crawling a surface which usually isn't or shouldn't be crawled across.

The group decided that flash mobs were too overdone, so they performed a surface creep across the cafeteria floor and tables.

by soilscienceguy November 30, 2017

surface skidding

The act of lying underneath a coffee table naked and masturbating whilst a girl squats and shits above you on to the glass.

I shot my load whilst surface skidding with big Melanie last night.

by Andrew Barnes April 1, 2022

Jizzing on the Sea Surface

When something is so hot, your semen spills everywhere onto the sea surface.

Oh man thats so orgasmic! i’m jizzing on the sea surface

by AmazingJuniorBros February 5, 2021