~The Nameless One~'s definitions

euphemism

A word people use because they like deceiving themselves to believe we live in a Utopia.

Mostly they're used by organizations and "considerate" people who don't want to offend the "situationally disturbed" citizens.

George Carlin, a comedian, did a great schpiel about euphemisms once. (A few of the following examples are in his speech.)

You should read it. It may not "open your eyes," but you'll realize how much we like to disguise our speech and blind ourselves. Disguising a condition with nicer, longer words doesn't change the fact that you still have the condition. Sorry.

(Note: Not all examples {e.g. black/white} are "conditions" or negative at all}

IMO, There's nothing wrong with most of the following conditions; they just warrant a euphemism because society can't accept reality. Many are unavoidable.
I just call 'em like I see em.

Nobody:
is old, they're elderly senior citizens.
is gay, they're homosexual.
is poor, they're in poverty.
is black, they're African American.
is white, they're Caucasian.
is fat, they're obese.
is a slut, they're promiscuous.
is crippled, they're handicapped.
is deaf, they're hearing impaired.
is blind, they're visually impaired.
is retarded, they're mentally challenged.
is short, they're vertically challenged.
is stupid, they're academically challenged.

I could go on.

by ~The Nameless One~ December 28, 2005

Microsoft Paint masterpiece

An oxymoron used in urbandictionary.com's suggestion for non-copyrighted material to upload.

"Don't upload copyrighted content - send a drawing, a Microsoft Paint masterpiece, or a photo you took"

by ~The Nameless One~ May 28, 2005

cool

What Urbandictionary.com is.
This works, unlike other words, because cool is eternal.

Urbandictionary.com is cool.

by ~The Nameless One~ June 7, 2005

faith

As defined by dictionary.com:

2.Belief that does not rest on logical proof or material evidence.

"We may define "faith" as the firm belief in something for which there is no evidence. Where there is evidence, no one speaks of "faith." We do not speak of faith that two and two are four or that the earth is round. We only speak of faith when we wish to substitute emotion for evidence. The substitution of emotion for evidence is apt to lead to strife, since different groups, substitute different emotions."
— Bertrand Russell (1872-1970)

by ~The Nameless One~ July 20, 2008

why

The word that means "y" must really be a vowel.

Either that, or some words have no vowels... why? Nobody knows.

by ~The Nameless One~ June 7, 2005

Holy

The state of having holes.

OMFG ROFL This swiss cheese is holy, let's worship it!

by ~The Nameless One~ June 27, 2005

screw

Euphemism for fuck. Anyway you use it.

Screw you.
You're screwed.
That's pretty screwy (fucked up).
Wanna screw?
I can't find a screw...
(... seriously. If you're looking for fucking screws, you're never gonna get laid. So you're desperately looking for a fuck. Cause nails work better... or I just desperately wanted this definition to work. I think screwed this definitions ratings)

by ~The Nameless One~ May 22, 2005