von groovy's definitions

Tragic Chapstick

This is the term for fluids - tears that flow from the eyes down to the mouth. They help hydrate dried out lips from begging someone to not break up with you.

As Carmen continued to weep and beg for Aiden to not end things, her cracked and sore lips began to feel some comfort from the never-ending tears from her eyes. The only good thing for her that day was that her Tragic Chapstick made things a bit better.

by von groovy March 5, 2025

broken pickleball

This is someone or something that no one wants to play with or be around anymore.

Barney: "Mom, no one will come over to play with me or let me come over to play with them. This is terrible! I feel like a broken pickleball. What should I do?"
Mom: "Well, Barney you are not a broken pickleball. You are a wonderful boy. You are just what some people may call socially retarded. So, there's that and you are thirty-seven years old. Now get a freakin' life and get the hell outta this house!"

by von groovy June 22, 2024

corncob smile

A smile that shows teeth with yellow and gunky-mucky characteristics because the smiler does not take care of their teeth.

Andrew was passing through a small town and met an attractive doll who offered to give him the mouth treatment. He was stoked, but when out of the dark bar he noticed that she had a corncob smile and could not put himself in there. He instead received some hand love.

by von groovy July 21, 2017

office summer sweater

A piece of clothing that should not exist and is merely a device for too skinny women to complain that the office is too cold when everyone else is comfortable.

Michelle complained that it was too cold when the thermostat was set at 70. Meghan told her to go get her office summer sweater and a bowl of pasta so she could warm up and fill out her sandals.

by von groovy May 11, 2019

Bake I.D.

Just like a "fake I.D.," but it is used to buy recreational weed in order to get baked or stoned or high and so on

Jayson was so incredibly excited that Jones hooked him up with his Bake I.D. that he forgot his cash when he went into the dispensary.

by von groovy May 31, 2019

Best in Bitch

Yes, this is the award or term designated to the person who is the best and biggest bitch of the bunch. Something maybe to be proud of...something maybe not to be proud of.

As Cassie had given some handlove to her married boss, intentionally avoided paying her fair share of the dinner tab with her friends, and slept in through her goddaughter's first birthday party, her friends and family awarded her "Best in Bitch" for the year. As predicted, she acted like she had won the trophy years ago....

by von groovy October 13, 2024

thirst parlor

A place where people satisfy and sometimes overindulge their craving for drink and delight. Not a dive bar, but not a pretentious pub. Things get lively, but bartenders don't flash their knockers.

Hans had a week of nonsense, lies, and disappointments. His mom told him that the only thing that would hit the spot would be going to the thirst parlor. He did and all his problems paused.

by von groovy May 25, 2017