von groovy's definitions

with the urgency of an emergency tampon

This is a phrase that indicates a very serious situation that is on a urgent timeline - it needs to be fixed NOW

As Ally jokingly posted a manipulated image of one of her friends appearing fatter than she was on the Gram, she recalled said friend had multiple embarrassing real images of her. So, with the urgency of an emergency tampon, she removed her post and then shared a flattering image of her friend, who was named Abby btw, and tagged it "Bad Bitch!"

by von groovy July 9, 2024

Freudian fall

An extreme version of the Freudian slip where the person says or does something that reveals their subconscious feelings so much that they will never be able to be themselves again. This error redefines them.

When Carson asked Asher if he was going into the school dance or if he was just going to hang outside. Asher replied that he'd only go if he could go into the "pants" with him. Asher said it loud enough that Barry heard. Barry posted it and Asher could never pick himself up from that Freudian fall.

by von groovy January 18, 2019

I couldn't stop the swimmers

The simultaneously unfortunate and wonderful feeling that is premature ejaculation

Randy: And then I got in there and it felt soooo sweeet!!
Wally: DUDE!!!
Randy: She looked me in the eye, whispered my name and I couldn't stop the swimmers!!!
Wally: You bitch! Control your jizz!

by von groovy April 13, 2019

firing lung bullets

Smoking Cigarettes. When firing lung bullets, the user creates black, dead wounds in lungs over time.

Babs thought she looked cool packing her Salem 100's and then lighting them up with strike anywhere matches. She did not heed the warning of everyone and eventually attached herself to an iron lung due to years of firing lung bullets.

by von groovy June 14, 2017

a sigh for help

This is not a huge act of desperation like a "cry for help" such as when someone says a statement that they may kill themselves or take a bunch of drugs. This is more like someone wearing an ill-fitting and unattractive shirt or announcing that they may be changing their religious views. It's not too dramatic but there's some drama for sure.

Jeremy: "Did you hear about Ashlyn?"
Ulysses: "Nope. She do something dumb again?"
Jeremy: "Well, she wrote a poem and left it at Hugo's desk. It was about a flower or something. Hugo didn't like it."
Ulysses" "Hmmm. That seems like a sigh for help. I may need to read that poem though. I like flowers."

by von groovy August 18, 2024

doing too much MOMS (DTMM)

This is a term for a mom who is still too involved in her adult child's life. Like still doing laundry, taking care of medical issues, and generally over-enabling. It's pretty terrible.

Desk Receptionist: "Good afternoon. How may I help you?"
Doing too much MOMS (DTMM): Yes, my son needs to see the dentist. NOW!"
DR: "Mam, he seems to be an adult. He's looks 30! I need for him to speak for himself. Sir, do you want to see the dentist?"
DTMM: "Don't answer, honey. I'll speak for you. Mommy is gonna make it all better. He needs the dentist NOW!"
DR: "Girl, you'd better stand your doing too much Moms ass back and let your son speak or it's on like Donkey Kong!"

by von groovy September 3, 2024

you're in like in in win

This is when you getting something good is a lock, a gift, a sure thing, or a guarantee cause you have an inside connection. BUT you're not a clown - you actually deserve and have earned this opportunity. You know it's gonna happen and it's wonderful!

Gary: "I need this to happen. He has two degrees, he will be in a separate department than me, and he has more energy than an ADHD kid in a VR simulation."
Mary: "He does seem to exceed all of the qualifications for this position. I'll gladly call him and say you're in like in in win! Now let's go smoke a fat one and then wreck that vending machine! There's Hot Fries and Spicy Peanuts!"

by von groovy August 9, 2024