von groovy's definitions

born in a bunghole

A phrase to insult someone who is dumber than a piece of shit. While being born in a barn may say someone is simple or dumb, born in a bunghole means something much worse.

Uncle Larry: Reggie, did you throw out your sister's dirty diapers?
Reggie: Yep. I put 'em in the 'fridge to keep 'em from stinkin' up the house.
Uncle Larry: Were you born in a bunghole? I told you to stick 'em under the bed!

by von groovy August 18, 2017

joke whine virus

This is the disease had by people who claim to be centrist who are actually conservative and conservatives. The disease presents as constant and unnecessary complaining or whining about people being progressive and wanting everyone to be seen as equal.

Alan: "Did you hear about Elmo complaining about people wanting to be called a new name?"
Lauren: "Yeah, I heard him whining like a trick again. He always seems to have something that is bothering him. Why doesn't he just be satisfied with the hundreds of billions of dollars he has and be quiet?"
Alan: "Cause he has the joke whine virus."
Lauren" "Oh, yeah. So that's why he can't stop crying like a bitch. Real comedy."

by von groovy September 14, 2023

cursing with crayons

A way to describe someone who curses like a little kid and sounds out of place cursing.

Wayne: You can just go to h, e, double hockey sticks! You big you know what'er!
Jay: Wow! You are so scary! Stop cursing with crayons and be a man! Get over the election!

by von groovy August 4, 2017

kiss of bliss

This is the name of the act of performing cunnilingus by anyone who is so lucky to be able to do it. It's a wonderfully mesmerizing act that all consenting adults should engage in - often.

As Melanie removed her panties, Miquel was finally presented with all he had fantasied about for months. His passion and devotion to only pleasing Melanie allowed him the ability to bestow the best kiss of bliss that had been given in his city for three years and the first of many he would give to her. They would both never be the same.

by von groovy June 19, 2024

mega-nega

This is when someone or something is negative in a mega way. Immensely negative.

Jane: "Did you hear that I'm going to be a grandma? I'm so excited!"
Nancy: "Wow! I don't know how anyone would bring another child into this terrible world."
Jane: "Go piss off, you sour bitch! You exude nothing but mega-nega!"

by von groovy August 16, 2024

certainstance

This is a stance that you take on something that you are 100% certain on and it will never change. For example: You hating the Red Sox is one of your certainstances.

Terry: I've been thinking about maybe moving in with Millie. I wonder what she'd think?
Barry: I don't know, man. She might, but her parents are very religious. I'm pretty sure that it is their certainstance that you two be married first.
Terry: You're probably right. And we are only in the 3rd grade...

by von groovy September 15, 2017

book report stamina

This phrase indicates a high level of stamina due to having to read the book, write the report, and then give the report. Hours and hours of dedication to something that you may not be enjoying at any time and yet you still get through it.

Paul knew that he would not enjoy any of the steps for him to apply to multiple universities for he knew he would have to spend hours filling out applications, spend more money than he'd like on application fees, possibly make mistakes, and then have to speak with admission counselors about himself. However, Paul had strong book report stamina and he knew he'd get through this.

by von groovy August 10, 2024