von groovy's definitions

I am not your phone!

This is what someone exclaims out of anger and frustration when someone touches them in an undesired and inappropriate manner. Basically telling someone to keep their hands off of them. It does not have to be sexual, however, it typically is.

Boo: "So, I was with Louis last night and he was too much!"
Stu: "Sorry, Boo. What did he do?"
Boo: "He put his hand on the chair when I was sitting down to try to peel the peach. I saw it and I yelled, I am not your phone! I left and made a post. Everybody knows!"

by von groovy September 18, 2025

kiss of bliss

This is the name of the act of performing cunnilingus by anyone who is so lucky to be able to do it. It's a wonderfully mesmerizing act that all consenting adults should engage in - often.

As Melanie removed her panties, Miquel was finally presented with all he had fantasied about for months. His passion and devotion to only pleasing Melanie allowed him the ability to bestow the best kiss of bliss that had been given in his city for three years and the first of many he would give to her. They would both never be the same.

by von groovy June 19, 2024

Emotional Lotion

Why of course I am referring to any form of ejaculate.

Hollie and Archer were in the midst of serious love gettin's and in a sensual turn of event with sexy results, they each had produced some Emotional Lotion that they each had begun to rub into each other's skin.

Hollie: "Oh, Arch! Just schmear your hot emotional lotion all over me since my skin is drier than the Sahara!"
Archer: "Not a problem, babe! Just look into my eyes when I'm doing it so I can start making more."

by von groovy May 18, 2024

FOPO

Fear of Posting Online - FOPO. This is an extension of anxiety you have when you want to post something online, but the possible negative consequences are too much so you don't post at all

Kari just got a rescue kitten and she was going to post its adorable furry face, but she thought of possible negative comments about her being now being a lonely cat lady, the kitten is her only friend, and why didn't she get a puppy...FOPO wins again!!!

by von groovy April 28, 2019

friendly friction

Consensual sex and or intercourse. It happens when friends create friction in the right places with another.

Danny: I'm freakin' out over Annika! We got close last night and were interrupted. Couldn't finish.
Flip: No good, man. Not at all.
Danny: We're meeting in an hour. We're gonna get right to the friendly friction!

by von groovy August 20, 2017

torpeella

Are tortillas that a female uses to wipe herself after urinating and are then used to make burritos

Matt knew that giving Nickki lotsa Margaritas meant there'd be a good chance of him having a burrito wrapped in a tangy and tasty torpeella!!

by von groovy April 28, 2019

devil's delicacy

The nickname for using bodily fluids or waste products that are usually not considered to be used in sex acts. However, some people are into getting their Red Wings, smearing a St. Louis Steamer, taking a Golden Shower, and so on.

Jeb: I don't think I'll play matchmaker for George anymore.
Neil: Why's that, Jeb?
Jeb: He's into some sick sexual stuff. There is not a waste product that comes out of a woman that he does not mix into sex.
Neil: So, his specialty is the devil's delicacy...

by von groovy June 19, 2017