wanker

Definitively, an onanist, one (usually expected to be male) who enjoys unassisted sexual gratification. Colloquially, anybody of whom you have a low opinion.
Tony Blair? Fucking gutless, worthless, complete and utter WANKER!!
by titwanker April 10, 2003
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arsebandit

Male homosexual. A.K.A. knobjockey, turdburglar, shitstabber, pillowbiter, shirtlifter, brownhatter, ginger, iron, fucking bender.
Michael Barrymore? Someone ought to top that fucking murdering arsebandit.
by titwanker April 10, 2003
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titwank

The act of pleasuring oneself by thrusting the erect member between a generous pair of bristols. Typically concludes with the delivery of a pearl necklace.
Phwoaar! She's got a shirtfull. I'd love a good titwank in those.
by titwanker April 10, 2003
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titwank

The mans entirely unselfish act of thrusting between a generous pair of bristols for sexual gratification. Usual result is referred to as a Pearl Necklace.
Phwoaar! She's got a shirtfull. I couldn't half fancy a titwank in those.
by titwanker April 10, 2003
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pearl necklace

Descriptive of the glistening deposit on a female's upper chest immediately following the climax of a successful titwank.
See that slapper over there? I gave her a pearl necklace last night.
by titwanker April 10, 2003
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wankfest

A Festival of Wank. A Proliferation of toss. An excess of jizz. A massive accumulation of useless remnants resulting from a bunch of wankers tossing all over their keyboards.
UrbanDictionary is a total wankfest.
by Titwanker May 22, 2004
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toerag

More commanly used in the sixties and seventies on Britcoms before trms like plonker and wanker superseded it.
by titwanker April 12, 2003
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