theinstigator's definitions

spinal adjustment

when a man spreads a woman's legs, pins them back and fucks her so hard her back cracks. This custom became so popular in the early 1980's that some enthusiasts would have spinal adjustment parties and couples would simultaneously engage in this form of boning. The combined sound of all the cracking spines gave the aural illusion of crickets chirping. The practice didn't quite reach "fad" status, though, as it really didn't sound that close to crickets chirping and it was only interesting to the bystander for a few quick moments. Eventually, the party idea died out and currently spinal adjustments are practiced in the privacy of one's home. This has been known to save dozens of dollars in chiropractor bills, cutting health costs by 0.00001%, though statistics have only been kept since Valentines Day, 2012.

Harold: Hey, Fred, what's with Steph?

Fred: Fucked her so hard last night, I gave her a spinal adjustment.
Harold: Oh, okay. That's awesome. The way she was walking, I thought she had some kind of pussy rash.
Fred: No, it was great. Had her up to five pops. Got four more on the last thrust. Adjusted!!! (high fives)

by theinstigator December 13, 2013

Brown-eyed Snake Charmer

When a shit coming out of one's ass is so long that it has amassed at the bottom of the toilet bowl and grown to the surface like a volcanic island emerging from the Pacific Ocean. The shit keeps coming in one long continuous poop like when a soft serve ice cream machine has a faulty handle. Eventually, to prevent the growing glop of excrement from pressing the buttocks from below, the person has to lift their ass off the toilet seat and rotate and hover their butt cheeks over this watery porcelain pit to let the brownie rope coil onto the steaming lump with as low a profile as possible. Though the shit is obviously dropping downward, the turd snake appears to be rising slowly from the toilet bowl, mesmerized by the slowly swirling ass, and burying it's head into that hypnotic brown eye from which it came.

Ben: "Dudes, I just took a shit that was so long that the top of it comes 5 inches above the waterline. I even made it curly-Q'ed like an ice cream cone from Dairy Queen."
Charley: "Damn, man! Your ass is a brown-eyed snake charmer!"

by theinstigator September 16, 2016

cunnilinquint

one who reneges (backs out) on a promise he will go down on a woman (perform
cunnilingus, eat pussy.) This type of person is highly scorned by females.

Helen: So how was the date with Ted?
Janice: Could have went better. He told me he'd go down on me if I gave him a
blowjob first. But as soon as I did, he- all of a sudden- had to leave.
Helen: You need to drop his ass. He's a cunnilinquint!

by theinstigator January 16, 2014

Cataract Removal

An act performed after thoroughly coating a girl’s eyeballs with your jizz, giving them a glistening iridescent coating, temporarily blinding her. To relieve her clouded vision, you convince her to be very still and keep her stinging peepers wide open. Then you make two fists and slug her very hard simultaneously in the eyes, knocking your milky man-juice from her beautiful baby blues. Thus, you have performed cataract removal.

Veronica: Betty, how did you get two black eyes?
Betty: I underwent cataract removal.

by theinstigator June 4, 2016

Hungry Kitty

1)The primal urge a woman gets deep within her clitoral vortex of sensory nerves that make her feel so carnally depraved that she seeks fulfillment in shady bars and clubs, having sex with any and every guy willing to wet their willie in the lustful lass. Her hunger goes unsatisfied as no one penis can fulfill her cockticious craving. Eventually, she may even summon up enough men to be the focal point of an all-night gangbang. Hungry Kitty isn’t satisfied until she’s been pumped full of so much man milk it leaks out and pools on the bed, gently grazing the satisfied lips of the appeased pussy.

2) When yo’ bitch want some dick.

“A Hungry Kitty will make any man seem purr-fect.” – Benjamin Franklin

by theinstigator June 3, 2016

Human Puppet Show

Having one’s right hand in one person’s ass and the left hand in another person’s ass and hitting the right nerves to force them into a humorous conversation preferably to entertain others. A young Marquis de Sade used to practice this at dinner parties in Paris much to the delight of his sexually deviant party guests. It is speculated that this is where the term “talking out of one’s ass” was derived from.

A large balding man is slouched over with his pants down to his knees and next to him is a young maiden of twenty-one years of age who is on her hands and knees with the bottom of her dress pulled up to her waist. The one and only Marquis de Sade is positioned behind the two, a hand buried in each ass.

Jacques, the butler: Ladies and gentlemen, the Human Puppet Show!

(Thunderous applause)

Maiden: Ohh, ahhhhh, Knock, Knock!

Balding man: Hmmph! Uhhn. Who…the …Fuuuck…ahhh…is there!?

Maiden: Eeeh! Ohh! ANITA!!!

Balding man: Ohhyeeooww! Anita fucking who!!??

Maiden: Uhhhmp…Ohhh! Anita fucking dick in me!

Laughter abounds from the crowd!

by theinstigator October 18, 2016

Brown Out

When one is engaged in anal sex and as they are thrusting in and out of their partner's anus they look down and notice some shit on their dick. Suddenly the energy and desire for anal sex is diminished greatly to the point of becoming semi-erect.

Jim: Dude, I so pumped last night. I had a hard-on that wouldn't quit and I was fucking Jane's ass. Then I noticed my cock was coming out dirty and I just lost it. Started going limp. Lost my drive. What a bummer.
Bo: Damn, bro. Total brown out!

by theinstigator September 22, 2016