the state a man is in after a totally messed up role-play session with a woman where he dresses up like a lion and she as a gnu or wildebeest. After their sexual game is taken outside, he loses track of her and finally notices the "wounded" wildebeest "struggling" beneath a tree. He stalks then pounces, gnawing playfully on the neck and back. Then he begins to have sex with the "helpless animal" until he ultimately climaxes and the "gnu" becomes completely motionless. Then he looks up and there- in costume- is his partner, aghast. It is then that he realizes he has just humped an actual wounded wildebeest and the last thing it felt before it died was his own shimmering orgasm. His woman calls him a sick fuck and tells everyone she knows. He is shunned from society, while she- in her wildebeest costume- is treated like the gnu girl in town. She becomes a celebrity and is welcomed everywhere, which really sucks because she is the one who suggested the role-play idea in the first place. But that is the gnu world order.
Jules always asks for three words of English from any dead wildebeest before he has sex with it. He doesn't want any part of the gnu world order.
by theinstigator January 02, 2014
Harry: Will you look at that.
Greg: What? Mary?
Harry: Yeah. She's way too large to be wearing yoga pants. And even as big as she is, the pants look kinda baggy.
Greg: Whoa! What the hell happened?
Harry: Hah! She farted!
Greg: Her pants inflated! That's incredible!
Harry: That, my friend, was a fart parachute.
Greg: What? Mary?
Harry: Yeah. She's way too large to be wearing yoga pants. And even as big as she is, the pants look kinda baggy.
Greg: Whoa! What the hell happened?
Harry: Hah! She farted!
Greg: Her pants inflated! That's incredible!
Harry: That, my friend, was a fart parachute.
by theinstigator December 15, 2013
When a lady is giving her man a handjob or blowjob and the pressure has built and the first blast of jizz shoots up over her head, possibly into her hair. It is quite similar to the naval maneuver where one ship intentionally shoots high and beyond another ship as a warning that they are well within firing range and bad things will happen if proper action is not taken. In our case, though, it is a warning to the lady that she better hurry and point that babymaker in the direction she wants the rest of the jizz to go whether it's her mouth, tits, face (NOT THE EYES!!!)
Suddenly, a blast of cum shot up toward Jane's face. She flinched and the thick stream shot just over her forehead and dropped in Jane's hair from front to back like a pearly river. Recognizing this as a warning shot over the bow, Jane wanted to protect her eyes so she quickly put her mouth over Doug's cock. She soon realized it was too much to handle as every contraction from Doug sent another stream into her mouth and soon it poured down her chin and all over her succulent breasts. By the time his orgasm had ended Jane was plastered with the thick goo. It was very evident to Jane that Doug hadn't been with a woman in a while.
by theinstigator September 23, 2016
Having one’s right hand in one person’s ass and the left hand in another person’s ass and hitting the right nerves to force them into a humorous conversation preferably to entertain others. A young Marquis de Sade used to practice this at dinner parties in Paris much to the delight of his sexually deviant party guests. It is speculated that this is where the term “talking out of one’s ass” was derived from.
A large balding man is slouched over with his pants down to his knees and next to him is a young maiden of twenty-one years of age who is on her hands and knees with the bottom of her dress pulled up to her waist. The one and only Marquis de Sade is positioned behind the two, a hand buried in each ass.
Jacques, the butler: Ladies and gentlemen, the Human Puppet Show!
(Thunderous applause)
Maiden: Ohh, ahhhhh, Knock, Knock!
Balding man: Hmmph! Uhhn. Who…the …Fuuuck…ahhh…is there!?
Maiden: Eeeh! Ohh! ANITA!!!
Balding man: Ohhyeeooww! Anita fucking who!!??
Maiden: Uhhhmp…Ohhh! Anita fucking dick in me!
Laughter abounds from the crowd!
Jacques, the butler: Ladies and gentlemen, the Human Puppet Show!
(Thunderous applause)
Maiden: Ohh, ahhhhh, Knock, Knock!
Balding man: Hmmph! Uhhn. Who…the …Fuuuck…ahhh…is there!?
Maiden: Eeeh! Ohh! ANITA!!!
Balding man: Ohhyeeooww! Anita fucking who!!??
Maiden: Uhhhmp…Ohhh! Anita fucking dick in me!
Laughter abounds from the crowd!
by theinstigator October 19, 2016
a word that is formed when a woman is wearing pants with writing across the rear and the pants get wedged into her ass crack creating an entirely different word due to the inability to see letters that are concealed by said ass crack. Generally this occurs when the pants are a bit too loose.
Gerald: What's so funny, Jack?
Jack: That big-assed girl, Jennie, has been walking around with the word "Lonk" on her ass.
Gerald: What the hell is Lonk?
Jack: All morning I'd been trying to figure that out. Then she farted and her pants inflated and then I could see it read "Love Pink."
Gerald: Oh, Lonk is a wedge word.
Jack: That big-assed girl, Jennie, has been walking around with the word "Lonk" on her ass.
Gerald: What the hell is Lonk?
Jack: All morning I'd been trying to figure that out. Then she farted and her pants inflated and then I could see it read "Love Pink."
Gerald: Oh, Lonk is a wedge word.
by theinstigator December 15, 2013
a person of below average intelligence who possesses a sixth sense about women's breasts, often knowing specific personal details about them with a single glance at a fully clothed woman. In a 1987 Michigan State University study, one tidiot savant with an IQ of 83 was tested by looking at pictures of just the faces of the 50 Miss America contestants. He was able to give the exact breast size of 96% of the women, incorrectly guessing only Miss Alaska and Miss Hawaii, but was correct on all 48 contiguous states.
Jim: Why did you bring Nate along with us to the bar? He's such a doof.
Dave: Hey, man. Be cool. You'll see.
Nate: Ooohh. Ooohh.
Dave: What is it, little buddy?
Nate: At the door, brunette, natural 36C's, left one slightly larger than the right, not much, top hat nipples, medium areolas- again, left slightly larger, but just a tad.
Jim: She's smokin'!
--the next day--
Jim: Hey, Dave. That dumbass Nate was dead on about that chick's boobs. I had sex with her last night.
Dave: Damn right, he was dead on. That's because he's a titiot savant.
Dave: Hey, man. Be cool. You'll see.
Nate: Ooohh. Ooohh.
Dave: What is it, little buddy?
Nate: At the door, brunette, natural 36C's, left one slightly larger than the right, not much, top hat nipples, medium areolas- again, left slightly larger, but just a tad.
Jim: She's smokin'!
--the next day--
Jim: Hey, Dave. That dumbass Nate was dead on about that chick's boobs. I had sex with her last night.
Dave: Damn right, he was dead on. That's because he's a titiot savant.
by theinstigator December 15, 2013
When a shit coming out of one's ass is so long that it has amassed at the bottom of the toilet bowl and grown to the surface like a volcanic island emerging from the Pacific Ocean. The shit keeps coming in one long continuous poop like when a soft serve ice cream machine has a faulty handle. Eventually, to prevent the growing glop of excrement from pressing the buttocks from below, the person has to lift their ass off the toilet seat and rotate and hover their butt cheeks over this watery porcelain pit to let the brownie rope coil onto the steaming lump with as low a profile as possible. Though the shit is obviously dropping downward, the turd snake appears to be rising slowly from the toilet bowl, mesmerized by the slowly swirling ass, and burying it's head into that hypnotic brown eye from which it came.
Ben: "Dudes, I just took a shit that was so long that the top of it comes 5 inches above the waterline. I even made it curly-Q'ed like an ice cream cone from Dairy Queen."
Charley: "Damn, man! Your ass is a brown-eyed snake charmer!"
Charley: "Damn, man! Your ass is a brown-eyed snake charmer!"
by theinstigator September 16, 2016