theinstigator's definitions
When someone has an orgasm so intense it is a life-changer. In a 1999 field study of 125 people who had experienced a climax of this magnitude, 15 died of heart attacks during the orgasm, 32 swore a lifetime of devotion to their lover, 43 swore a lifetime of devotion to their hand, 23 committed suicide convinced they had experienced the ultimate thrill life could give them, 11 began touring as motivational speakers, and one decided he was going to watch the Britney Spears video "Baby, One More Time" one more time to see if he could replicate his orgasmic event. Less than a minute into the video he had a seizure and died en route to the hospital.
(from "My Date With Giganti Tongue") ...her heart skipped, she held her breathe, THERE, oh my. She felt her soul fluttering from her body in ecstasy. Her limbs shuddered and she rode the orgasm like James Bond rode the tidal wave caused by the collapsed iceberg in the one where Halle Berry wore a bikini but was trapped in that igloo by the mad Korean. Hummingbirds peppered her heart with kisses and she felt higher than Cheech and Chong at a Grateful Dead concert in a jet flying over Mount Everest. And then, as the orgasmic event slowly subsided, there was that ultimate moment of clarity when suddenly she felt she could prove Einstein's Theory of Relativity was a load of horseshit.
by theinstigator January 13, 2014
Get the orgasmic eventmug. a woman's hair arranged at the back of her head, held together with a band and to be used by a man as a handle while receiving oral sex from a willing female.
A straight ponytail is grasped near the base in a male's fist, medium grip. This allows nice control of the female's head, but is limiting due to awkward bending of the male's wrist. It is a carpal tunnel syndrome hazard for men who receive a high volume of blowjobs. The height of the ponytail on the back of the woman's head can be adjusted for better torque.
Another type of ponytail is the balled ponytail. The straight ponytail is simply folded under itself and tucked back into the band, resembling a ball of hair. Grasped with an open palm, the fingers should meet at the band, thus the "ball" is contained in the man's hand. Called the "palm sander" grip, it allows full control of the woman's head with no wrist strain.
A third type of ponytail is the double ponytail. Two tails are formed toward the rear left and right sides of the female's head. A favorite among bikers as each tail can be grasped by a separate hand. The willing lady's head is steered like a motorcycle.
Caution: though clearly sexual stimuli for men, it is important for men to remember women do not always view it in the same context. Women often use ponytails just to keep hair out of their faces. The confused male should never just assume when a woman's hair is in a ponytail her head is ready for mounting. He should always ask first.
A straight ponytail is grasped near the base in a male's fist, medium grip. This allows nice control of the female's head, but is limiting due to awkward bending of the male's wrist. It is a carpal tunnel syndrome hazard for men who receive a high volume of blowjobs. The height of the ponytail on the back of the woman's head can be adjusted for better torque.
Another type of ponytail is the balled ponytail. The straight ponytail is simply folded under itself and tucked back into the band, resembling a ball of hair. Grasped with an open palm, the fingers should meet at the band, thus the "ball" is contained in the man's hand. Called the "palm sander" grip, it allows full control of the woman's head with no wrist strain.
A third type of ponytail is the double ponytail. Two tails are formed toward the rear left and right sides of the female's head. A favorite among bikers as each tail can be grasped by a separate hand. The willing lady's head is steered like a motorcycle.
Caution: though clearly sexual stimuli for men, it is important for men to remember women do not always view it in the same context. Women often use ponytails just to keep hair out of their faces. The confused male should never just assume when a woman's hair is in a ponytail her head is ready for mounting. He should always ask first.
Greg: Hey, Betsy, I noticed from the water cooler you put your hair into a ponytail. Would you like to give me a blowjob?
Betsy: Fuck off, Dickwad!
Greg: Oh. Okay, maybe later, then.
Betsy: Fuck off, Dickwad!
Greg: Oh. Okay, maybe later, then.
by theinstigator December 18, 2013
Get the ponytailmug. one who reneges (backs out) on a promise he will go down on a woman (perform
cunnilingus, eat pussy.) This type of person is highly scorned by females.
cunnilingus, eat pussy.) This type of person is highly scorned by females.
Helen: So how was the date with Ted?
Janice: Could have went better. He told me he'd go down on me if I gave him a
blowjob first. But as soon as I did, he- all of a sudden- had to leave.
Helen: You need to drop his ass. He's a cunnilinquint!
Janice: Could have went better. He told me he'd go down on me if I gave him a
blowjob first. But as soon as I did, he- all of a sudden- had to leave.
Helen: You need to drop his ass. He's a cunnilinquint!
by theinstigator January 16, 2014
Get the cunnilinquintmug. A shit taken in someone's car usually in an act of revenge or defiance. Often left as a message in a poorly parked car.
Terrell played lookout while Juan took a shit the size of an axe handle in the back seat of Benny's Cadillac. When Juan finished Terrell looked in and said, "Mutha fuck! That is one big ass Detroit Burrito!"
They laughed as they left and Juan turned back one last time and yelled, "Welcome to Dee-fuckin-troit, bitch!"
They laughed as they left and Juan turned back one last time and yelled, "Welcome to Dee-fuckin-troit, bitch!"
by theinstigator October 2, 2016
Get the Detroit Burritomug. When one is engaged in anal sex and as they are thrusting in and out of their partner's anus they look down and notice some shit on their dick. Suddenly the energy and desire for anal sex is diminished greatly to the point of becoming semi-erect.
Jim: Dude, I so pumped last night. I had a hard-on that wouldn't quit and I was fucking Jane's ass. Then I noticed my cock was coming out dirty and I just lost it. Started going limp. Lost my drive. What a bummer.
Bo: Damn, bro. Total brown out!
Bo: Damn, bro. Total brown out!
by theinstigator September 22, 2016
Get the Brown Outmug. Dr. Viktrov, the scientist: (unzipping his pants) Do you know, Natasia, a single sperm contains about 37.5 mb of DNA information? This means that the average male ejaculate would represent a data transfer of approximately 1,587 gb in about 3 seconds.
Natasia, the lab assistant: (kneeling and taking the chewing gum from her mouth and sticking it to the bottom of the table) That's a lot of information to swallow, Doctor!
Natasia, the lab assistant: (kneeling and taking the chewing gum from her mouth and sticking it to the bottom of the table) That's a lot of information to swallow, Doctor!
by theinstigator March 13, 2014
Get the data transfermug. Take her to Poletown is a way for a guy to tell someone that they are going to have sex with a certain woman. It may be mistaken by the more naïve person (even the woman herself) as a reference to the Polish district of a large city but that is just a guy's way of letting another know (wink, wink) that sometime in the near future his dick's going to be wearing her Va-jay-jay sweater.
Cal: Hey, Frankie. I got a date this Friday with Paulette.
Frankie: Damn! She is so freakin’ hot!
Cal: Yeah. Guaranteed, man, Within two weeks I’m going to take her to Poletown!
Frankie: Damn! She is so freakin’ hot!
Cal: Yeah. Guaranteed, man, Within two weeks I’m going to take her to Poletown!
by theinstigator October 18, 2016
Get the Take her to Poletownmug.