theinstigator's definitions

Brown-eyed Snake Charmer

When a shit coming out of one's ass is so long that it has amassed at the bottom of the toilet bowl and grown to the surface like a volcanic island emerging from the Pacific Ocean. The shit keeps coming in one long continuous poop like when a soft serve ice cream machine has a faulty handle. Eventually, to prevent the growing glop of excrement from pressing the buttocks from below, the person has to lift their ass off the toilet seat and rotate and hover their butt cheeks over this watery porcelain pit to let the brownie rope coil onto the steaming lump with as low a profile as possible. Though the shit is obviously dropping downward, the turd snake appears to be rising slowly from the toilet bowl, mesmerized by the slowly swirling ass, and burying it's head into that hypnotic brown eye from which it came.

Ben: "Dudes, I just took a shit that was so long that the top of it comes 5 inches above the waterline. I even made it curly-Q'ed like an ice cream cone from Dairy Queen."
Charley: "Damn, man! Your ass is a brown-eyed snake charmer!"

by theinstigator September 16, 2016

Weiner Worthy

Being desirable enough to stick one's penis in. A woman worth wetting one's willie in. A gal who a guy would want to fuck.

Nicole worried that by the time she was in her late 40's that she would no longer be weiner worthy.

by theinstigator October 1, 2016

Ghost of Houdini

When a man is lying in bed on his back and he gets a hard-on, it rises beneath the sheets appearing as a ghostly figure in the morning light. True to the spirit of Houdini, the ghostly erection is likely to disappear soon after it arrives, possibly into the woman beside him.

Jane: Baby, look at the sheet near your crotch!
Kevin: Shh, baby. It's the ghost of Houdini.
Jane: Really? Is he friendly?
Kevin: Oh yeah. I think he wants a kiss.
Jane: Okay.

by theinstigator September 22, 2016

data transfer

Delivering sperm cells into another person's body through ejaculation.

Dr. Viktrov, the scientist: (unzipping his pants) Do you know, Natasia, a single sperm contains about 37.5 mb of DNA information? This means that the average male ejaculate would represent a data transfer of approximately 1,587 gb in about 3 seconds.

Natasia, the lab assistant: (kneeling and taking the chewing gum from her mouth and sticking it to the bottom of the table) That's a lot of information to swallow, Doctor!

by theinstigator March 13, 2014

Brown Out

When one is engaged in anal sex and as they are thrusting in and out of their partner's anus they look down and notice some shit on their dick. Suddenly the energy and desire for anal sex is diminished greatly to the point of becoming semi-erect.

Jim: Dude, I so pumped last night. I had a hard-on that wouldn't quit and I was fucking Jane's ass. Then I noticed my cock was coming out dirty and I just lost it. Started going limp. Lost my drive. What a bummer.
Bo: Damn, bro. Total brown out!

by theinstigator September 22, 2016

Detroit Burrito

A shit taken in someone's car usually in an act of revenge or defiance. Often left as a message in a poorly parked car.

Terrell played lookout while Juan took a shit the size of an axe handle in the back seat of Benny's Cadillac. When Juan finished Terrell looked in and said, "Mutha fuck! That is one big ass Detroit Burrito!"
They laughed as they left and Juan turned back one last time and yelled, "Welcome to Dee-fuckin-troit, bitch!"

by theinstigator October 2, 2016

Va-jay-jay Sweater

A hairy pussy, usually one that is thick and matted over like those heavy holiday sweaters with tangled pubes like they’ve been woven by Amish elves. Yeah, imagine trying to fuck that!

Dolph: Damn, bro. I just had my hand down Frita's pants!

Gregor: Score, dude!

Dolph: Not so fast, Holmes. I couldn't even get my fingers in her pussy.

Gregor: Seriously? Was she fightin' it?

Dolph: Naw, man. Her hair down there was impenetrable.

Gregor: Whoa.

Dolph: Yeah, bud. It was like she had a va-jay-jay sweater

by theinstigator October 18, 2016