theinstigator's definitions
When three or more people are riding in a car and they drive through a tunnel, all the windows are rolled down and everyone screams out the windows all the way through the tunnel. Their shrieking reverberates off the walls of the tunnel causing quite a ruckus.
Bum #1: Listen to those damn fools yelling out their windows!
Bum#2: They can't help it, Earl. I think they got that disease.
Bum #1: What disease, Fred?
Bum #2: That there Car Pool Tunnel Syndrome.
Bum #1: You're a fucking idiot, Fred.
Bum#2: They can't help it, Earl. I think they got that disease.
Bum #1: What disease, Fred?
Bum #2: That there Car Pool Tunnel Syndrome.
Bum #1: You're a fucking idiot, Fred.
by theinstigator September 22, 2016
Get the Car Pool Tunnel Syndrome mug.When someone has an orgasm so intense it is a life-changer. In a 1999 field study of 125 people who had experienced a climax of this magnitude, 15 died of heart attacks during the orgasm, 32 swore a lifetime of devotion to their lover, 43 swore a lifetime of devotion to their hand, 23 committed suicide convinced they had experienced the ultimate thrill life could give them, 11 began touring as motivational speakers, and one decided he was going to watch the Britney Spears video "Baby, One More Time" one more time to see if he could replicate his orgasmic event. Less than a minute into the video he had a seizure and died en route to the hospital.
(from "My Date With Giganti Tongue") ...her heart skipped, she held her breathe, THERE, oh my. She felt her soul fluttering from her body in ecstasy. Her limbs shuddered and she rode the orgasm like James Bond rode the tidal wave caused by the collapsed iceberg in the one where Halle Berry wore a bikini but was trapped in that igloo by the mad Korean. Hummingbirds peppered her heart with kisses and she felt higher than Cheech and Chong at a Grateful Dead concert in a jet flying over Mount Everest. And then, as the orgasmic event slowly subsided, there was that ultimate moment of clarity when suddenly she felt she could prove Einstein's Theory of Relativity was a load of horseshit.
by theinstigator January 13, 2014
Get the orgasmic event mug.When a shit coming out of one's ass is so long that it has amassed at the bottom of the toilet bowl and grown to the surface like a volcanic island emerging from the Pacific Ocean. The shit keeps coming in one long continuous poop like when a soft serve ice cream machine has a faulty handle. Eventually, to prevent the growing glop of excrement from pressing the buttocks from below, the person has to lift their ass off the toilet seat and rotate and hover their butt cheeks over this watery porcelain pit to let the brownie rope coil onto the steaming lump with as low a profile as possible. Though the shit is obviously dropping downward, the turd snake appears to be rising slowly from the toilet bowl, mesmerized by the slowly swirling ass, and burying it's head into that hypnotic brown eye from which it came.
Ben: "Dudes, I just took a shit that was so long that the top of it comes 5 inches above the waterline. I even made it curly-Q'ed like an ice cream cone from Dairy Queen."
Charley: "Damn, man! Your ass is a brown-eyed snake charmer!"
Charley: "Damn, man! Your ass is a brown-eyed snake charmer!"
by theinstigator September 16, 2016
Get the Brown-eyed Snake Charmer mug.when a man spreads a woman's legs, pins them back and fucks her so hard her back cracks. This custom became so popular in the early 1980's that some enthusiasts would have spinal adjustment parties and couples would simultaneously engage in this form of boning. The combined sound of all the cracking spines gave the aural illusion of crickets chirping. The practice didn't quite reach "fad" status, though, as it really didn't sound that close to crickets chirping and it was only interesting to the bystander for a few quick moments. Eventually, the party idea died out and currently spinal adjustments are practiced in the privacy of one's home. This has been known to save dozens of dollars in chiropractor bills, cutting health costs by 0.00001%, though statistics have only been kept since Valentines Day, 2012.
Harold: Hey, Fred, what's with Steph?
Fred: Fucked her so hard last night, I gave her a spinal adjustment.
Harold: Oh, okay. That's awesome. The way she was walking, I thought she had some kind of pussy rash.
Fred: No, it was great. Had her up to five pops. Got four more on the last thrust. Adjusted!!! (high fives)
Fred: Fucked her so hard last night, I gave her a spinal adjustment.
Harold: Oh, okay. That's awesome. The way she was walking, I thought she had some kind of pussy rash.
Fred: No, it was great. Had her up to five pops. Got four more on the last thrust. Adjusted!!! (high fives)
by theinstigator December 13, 2013
Get the spinal adjustment mug.a woman's hair arranged at the back of her head, held together with a band and to be used by a man as a handle while receiving oral sex from a willing female.
A straight ponytail is grasped near the base in a male's fist, medium grip. This allows nice control of the female's head, but is limiting due to awkward bending of the male's wrist. It is a carpal tunnel syndrome hazard for men who receive a high volume of blowjobs. The height of the ponytail on the back of the woman's head can be adjusted for better torque.
Another type of ponytail is the balled ponytail. The straight ponytail is simply folded under itself and tucked back into the band, resembling a ball of hair. Grasped with an open palm, the fingers should meet at the band, thus the "ball" is contained in the man's hand. Called the "palm sander" grip, it allows full control of the woman's head with no wrist strain.
A third type of ponytail is the double ponytail. Two tails are formed toward the rear left and right sides of the female's head. A favorite among bikers as each tail can be grasped by a separate hand. The willing lady's head is steered like a motorcycle.
Caution: though clearly sexual stimuli for men, it is important for men to remember women do not always view it in the same context. Women often use ponytails just to keep hair out of their faces. The confused male should never just assume when a woman's hair is in a ponytail her head is ready for mounting. He should always ask first.
A straight ponytail is grasped near the base in a male's fist, medium grip. This allows nice control of the female's head, but is limiting due to awkward bending of the male's wrist. It is a carpal tunnel syndrome hazard for men who receive a high volume of blowjobs. The height of the ponytail on the back of the woman's head can be adjusted for better torque.
Another type of ponytail is the balled ponytail. The straight ponytail is simply folded under itself and tucked back into the band, resembling a ball of hair. Grasped with an open palm, the fingers should meet at the band, thus the "ball" is contained in the man's hand. Called the "palm sander" grip, it allows full control of the woman's head with no wrist strain.
A third type of ponytail is the double ponytail. Two tails are formed toward the rear left and right sides of the female's head. A favorite among bikers as each tail can be grasped by a separate hand. The willing lady's head is steered like a motorcycle.
Caution: though clearly sexual stimuli for men, it is important for men to remember women do not always view it in the same context. Women often use ponytails just to keep hair out of their faces. The confused male should never just assume when a woman's hair is in a ponytail her head is ready for mounting. He should always ask first.
Greg: Hey, Betsy, I noticed from the water cooler you put your hair into a ponytail. Would you like to give me a blowjob?
Betsy: Fuck off, Dickwad!
Greg: Oh. Okay, maybe later, then.
Betsy: Fuck off, Dickwad!
Greg: Oh. Okay, maybe later, then.
by theinstigator December 18, 2013
Get the ponytail mug.the residue left on one's face after performing a nice sloppy job of cunnilingus. The "glaze" would be all across and above the upper lip, down the edges of the mouth and completely covering the whole front of the chin.
After Delilah had her orgasm, Fred lifted his mouth from between her legs. She raised her head from the pillow and saw he was grinning at her. She smiled with satisfaction and found it quite charming how his glaze goatee glistened in the candlelight.
by theinstigator December 30, 2013
Get the glaze goatee mug.Dr. Viktrov, the scientist: (unzipping his pants) Do you know, Natasia, a single sperm contains about 37.5 mb of DNA information? This means that the average male ejaculate would represent a data transfer of approximately 1,587 gb in about 3 seconds.
Natasia, the lab assistant: (kneeling and taking the chewing gum from her mouth and sticking it to the bottom of the table) That's a lot of information to swallow, Doctor!
Natasia, the lab assistant: (kneeling and taking the chewing gum from her mouth and sticking it to the bottom of the table) That's a lot of information to swallow, Doctor!
by theinstigator March 13, 2014
Get the data transfer mug.