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Marital Industrial Complex

The collective group of businesses and industries that reap billions of dollars every year by convincing people that their obscenely overpriced goods/services are absolutely essential for getting married.
How many more of our young men and women need to be fed into the Wedding Machine before we stand up to the marital industrial complex?
by thebetterfriend2 January 15, 2020
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Columbus Complex

A man's stubbornness to ask for directions, even when he has no idea where he is.

Derives from the story of Christopher Columbus, whose wife would nag in his ear for him to ask for the quickest way to India.
Woman: We've passed that gas station twice already. Overcome your Columbus Complex and ask for directions.
Man: No, I know exactly where we are.
by thebetterfriend2 September 30, 2010
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Conflict of Scents

The concern that the odors of multiple scented products used at the same time will combine to create an ultra-stink.
Girlfriend: Holy hell. You're cologne smells nice, but overall you have awful B.O.

Boyfriend: Give me a break. I had to choose between cologne and deodorant due to a potential Conflict of Scents
by thebetterfriend2 January 6, 2010
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Hymen Trophy

A fictitious award bestowed upon a person for taking another's virginity.
Up on the mantel over there I keep my Hymen Trophy. Proudest day of my life
by thebetterfriend2 July 18, 2010
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Friend Custody

When a couple breaks up, one person gets to keep the mutual friends while the other must find new ones because being around each other would be too awkward. The person who keeps the friends is said to be granted Friend Custody.
Bob: Why don't you come out with us tonight?

Phil: Because when Jane and I broke up, she got Friend Custody.
by thebetterfriend2 March 20, 2010
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Too Soon Guilt

The immediate sense of shame one feels after blurting out an insensitive joke regarding a tragic incident.
I had a great joke in my facebook status regarding George Zimmerman's ruling, but deleted it because of Too Soon Guilt.
by thebetterfriend2 August 26, 2013
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Cafficiency

the enhanced efficiency provided by caffiene
If I don't have my morning gallon of coffee, I get nothing done. Cafficiency is the only thing keeping me from getting fired.
by thebetterfriend2 April 17, 2015
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