theWestHamfan's definitions

flogs his arsehole

sells himself as a rent boy male prostitute

"his sister's name is lily,
she's a pro in piccadilly,
and his mother's yet another in the strand,
his father flogs his arsehole,
at the elephant and castle,
they're the finest fucking family in the land!"

by theWestHamfan December 4, 2003

hole in one

to sexually penetrate a partner at the first attempt

trevor held her down, slapped her face, kicked her shins, and attempted a hole in one. unfortunately for him staffordshire bull terriers don't like this treatment and she turned and bit off his meat & two veg

by theWestHamfan November 25, 2003

seven year itch

to have sexual cravings for sex with a different partner

colin was quite frank "look kev, I've been as faithful as any normal red-blooded male"
"seven year itch, rearing it's ugly head?" replied the Kev
"well, it's more like this seven year TWITCH" admitted colin as the cup and saucer jumped from his lap.

by theWestHamfan January 7, 2004

backslang

1. to talk reversing every word
2. to talk taking the front letter of each word, putting it at the back and adding "ay"

1. olleh yenttirb, swoh ruoy mub?
2. allohay rittneybay owshay ouryay umbay?

by theWestHamfan November 19, 2003

cock conk

a nose shaped like a penis

karl maldern's cock conk nearly won him an oscar for best supporting nose

by theWestHamfan January 20, 2004

penile bifida

to have two penii

"always said she was lucky! her old man's got a dose of penile bifida"

by theWestHamfan November 14, 2003

quimguzzle

to definitely partake in a drink from the furry cup. to attempt cunnilingus

"oi sean, fancy a quimguzzle?" pleaded spicer. "not just at this moment, thanks debbie, im just starting a pocket billiards session."

by theWestHamfan December 18, 2003