theWestHamfan's definitions

travellers

pikeys, gypsies, a clever way of allowing hostelry owners etc. to hang racist signs without actually being racist.

"quick Alec" screamed his young friend. "get that 'NO TRAVELLERS' sign up, here come a load of gippoes."
gippo - "gravel yur droive zur?"
alec - "ckoff!"

by theWestHamfan November 11, 2003

cock splint

penis splint; usually consisting of four spatulas arranged equidistant and parallel to the penis, thus encompassing it. this is held in place with a binding of clear plaster.

on her wedding night victoria threw aside the covers and said, "look david, this bearded oyster has never been seen or touched by a man." "that's nothing" replied david, opening his dressing gown to expose his cock splint, "look, this is still boxed!."

by theWestHamfan November 12, 2003

ancient history

gone for good

"joey 'ad 'is moments" exclaimed dave, "but at the end of the day 'e's ancient history."

by theWestHamfan November 12, 2003

at the end of the day

after all; used over and over again by football pundits, footballers etc.

"let's face it" said alan "at the end of the day, gazza would be over the moon to be selected for the ladies team."

by theWestHamfan November 12, 2003

velcroed

to get one's moustache inextricably entwined in one's partner's bearded oyster hair

mr & mrs pavarotti had become so firmly velcroed he could not sing at vinny's barmistva. instead they got coldplay

by theWestHamfan November 12, 2003

penile bifida

to have two penii

"always said she was lucky! her old man's got a dose of penile bifida"

by theWestHamfan November 14, 2003

on the game

prostitute. a person who is coin operated

"blimey" gasped a shocked Kevin "I didn't realise my next door neighbour was on the game"

by theWestHamfan November 14, 2003