theWestHamfan's definitions

Essex girl

some of the most beautiful girls in the world come from essex

essex girl: "I think i've got concussion."
paramedic: "How many fingers have i got up?"
essex girl: "oh! don't say i'm paralysed too."

by theWestHamfan November 19, 2003

incuntinent

a medical condition causing one to urinate instead of ejaculate during sexual intercourse

spicer was getting really fed up with dave. she thought he was taking the piss not realising he was incuntinent

by theWestHamfan December 25, 2003

cock splint

penis splint; usually consisting of four spatulas arranged equidistant and parallel to the penis, thus encompassing it. this is held in place with a binding of clear plaster.

on her wedding night victoria threw aside the covers and said, "look david, this bearded oyster has never been seen or touched by a man." "that's nothing" replied david, opening his dressing gown to expose his cock splint, "look, this is still boxed!."

by theWestHamfan November 12, 2003

coin operated

prostitute. on the game

his father was so mortified to find his son's next door neighbour was coin operated, he stealthily paid her a visit!

by theWestHamfan November 14, 2003

headless chicken

1. a chicken with no head
2. running around all over the place with seemingly no aim or purpose

1. we ordered murghi masalam but all we got was a headless chicken stuffed with minced meat.
2. "look at that twat Savage" exclaimed Fredo "he's worse than a headless chicken."

by theWestHamfan November 16, 2003

faece furniture

IKEA, MFI etc.

ann & bernard went to buy a chair from IKEA but declined because it was faece furniture

by theWestHamfan November 17, 2003

roasting bag

a white girl that goes for sex sessions with black footballers

"as soon as the final whisle goes" squealed kieron excitedly "we're off to the hotel, to meet today's roasting bag."

by theWestHamfan January 24, 2004