theWestHamfan's definitions

seven year itch

to have sexual cravings for sex with a different partner

colin was quite frank "look kev, I've been as faithful as any normal red-blooded male"
"seven year itch, rearing it's ugly head?" replied the Kev
"well, it's more like this seven year TWITCH" admitted colin as the cup and saucer jumped from his lap.

by theWestHamfan January 7, 2004

backslang

1. to talk reversing every word
2. to talk taking the front letter of each word, putting it at the back and adding "ay"

1. olleh yenttirb, swoh ruoy mub?
2. allohay rittneybay owshay ouryay umbay?

by theWestHamfan November 19, 2003

tossing the caber

a scottish highlands sport whereby one has to throw an enormous tree trunk as far as possible

"blimey sean, is that 'harry the horse' tossing the caber?"
"nah, it's alec having a wank"

by theWestHamfan December 7, 2003

cuntstipated

can get erection but unable to ejaculate

poor old kevin looked down, shrugged, smiled to himself and said plaintively, "blimey, kylie, i must be cuntstipated!"

by theWestHamfan January 9, 2004

ringtone

the timbre of one's fart

he stood there so proud
his ringtone was loud
"i'm forever blowing bubbles"
wafted into the crowd.
"well done kev!"

by theWestHamfan December 30, 2003

flap crapper

a man that derives sexual gratification from defecating on his partner's labia

she discovered colin was a flap crapper when she woke one morning to find she was having intercourse with a gigantic turd

by theWestHamfan January 12, 2004

up your arse

a shouted response to an insult. similar to up yours but stronger.

made immortal by the lyrics of the famous song:- "from stamford bridge to upton park" "stick your blue flag up your arse" "UP YOUR ARSE" "UP YOUR ARSE" "UP YOUR ARSE" "UP YOUR ARSE" "from stamford bridge to upton park" ""stick your blue flag" "UP YOUR ARSE"

by theWestHamfan November 18, 2003