theWestHamfan's definitions

water the horse

to urinate

Trevor was very keen to take Tracy, but couldn't perform 'cos he badly needed to water the horse

by theWestHamfan November 3, 2003

travellers

pikeys, gypsies, a clever way of allowing hostelry owners etc. to hang racist signs without actually being racist.

"quick Alec" screamed his young friend. "get that 'NO TRAVELLERS' sign up, here come a load of gippoes."
gippo - "gravel yur droive zur?"
alec - "ckoff!"

by theWestHamfan November 11, 2003

incuntinent

a medical condition causing one to urinate instead of ejaculate during sexual intercourse

spicer was getting really fed up with dave. she thought he was taking the piss not realising he was incuntinent

by theWestHamfan December 25, 2003

cock splint

penis splint; usually consisting of four spatulas arranged equidistant and parallel to the penis, thus encompassing it. this is held in place with a binding of clear plaster.

on her wedding night victoria threw aside the covers and said, "look david, this bearded oyster has never been seen or touched by a man." "that's nothing" replied david, opening his dressing gown to expose his cock splint, "look, this is still boxed!."

by theWestHamfan November 12, 2003

Essex girl

some of the most beautiful girls in the world come from essex

essex girl: "I think i've got concussion."
paramedic: "How many fingers have i got up?"
essex girl: "oh! don't say i'm paralysed too."

by theWestHamfan November 19, 2003

cuntstipated

can get erection but unable to ejaculate

poor old kevin looked down, shrugged, smiled to himself and said plaintively, "blimey, kylie, i must be cuntstipated!"

by theWestHamfan January 9, 2004

ringtone

the timbre of one's fart

he stood there so proud
his ringtone was loud
"i'm forever blowing bubbles"
wafted into the crowd.
"well done kev!"

by theWestHamfan December 30, 2003