theWestHamfan's definitions

oyster kebab

a kebab comprising sheeps eyes and sheeps testicles. these are placed alternately on the skewer and cooked for about 5 minutes. it is important to start and finish with an eye.

punter: "have you got plenty of oyster kebabs?"
ali: "over two hundred, my friend"
punter, running away: "well you shouldn't have cooked so many, MY FRIEND."

by theWestHamfan November 20, 2003

hammers

1. supporters of West Ham United Football Club
2. plural of hammer
3. there is no three

1. "up the hammers""alan partridge's claret & blue army"
2. "have you got fork handles?""yes""OK i'll take the candles and four hammers"
3.--------

by theWestHamfan November 29, 2003

bunk up

to assist a climber by pushing him/her upwards

"'ere Stephen, g'is a bunk up, I'm nearly over this wall."

by theWestHamfan October 27, 2003

prehensile clitoris

a clitoris that can grip objects. a.k.a. PC

it's just a rumour that kylie can shuffle cards with her prehensile clitoris but she can pick up £50 notes.

by theWestHamfan November 18, 2003

perm three

male homosexual partners have the chance of a permutation of three. viz.
1. partner A. foreskin partner B. no foreskin
2. partner A. foreskin partner B. foreskin
3. partner A no foreskin partner B. no foreskin

steven minced in "hi duckies, alec's got a new partner""perm three?" questioned kevin "not likely" retorted steven "he's gone and got himself a bloody gnome"

by theWestHamfan December 10, 2003

italian roulette

like russian roulette but ther are NO bullets in ANY chambers

"blimey Darren" exclaimed Dave "that dark-skinned dwarf's a brave bastard"
"nah" replied darren laconically "unfortunately, he's playing italian roulette!"

by theWestHamfan January 3, 2004

the snake gambit

a tray of snakes has a hole in the rear side through which the tray holders penis is inserted. the tray holder then invites passers by to stroke the "snakes" hoping that his penis will be the stroked one

when steven wasn't in his santa outfit he could usually be found outside archway tube employing the snake gambit

by theWestHamfan January 26, 2004