127 definitions by theWestHamfan

roasting bag

a white girl that goes for sex sessions with black footballers

"as soon as the final whisle goes" squealed kieron excitedly "we're off to the hotel, to meet today's roasting bag."

by theWestHamfan January 24, 2004

cobra forsky

foreskin shaped like a hooded cobra

colin considered himself to be very fortunate. having a cobra forsky was useful as his wife played the flute. trips to india were a gas.

by theWestHamfan January 19, 2004

cock splint

penis splint; usually consisting of four spatulas arranged equidistant and parallel to the penis, thus encompassing it. this is held in place with a binding of clear plaster.

on her wedding night victoria threw aside the covers and said, "look david, this bearded oyster has never been seen or touched by a man." "that's nothing" replied david, opening his dressing gown to expose his cock splint, "look, this is still boxed!."

by theWestHamfan November 13, 2003

lino

1. an abbr. of linoleum, the floor covering.
2. the linesman in soccer

1. ers next door looks really posh now. she's got rid of the old beer cans and done it all up wiv lino.
2. darren "oi, lino, what's wrong wiv you? E was never offside."
dave "bring on stevie wonder!"

by theWestHamfan December 26, 2003

cockchafer

1. large grey/brown beetle
2. a woman with a dried up vagina

1. "oi sean, me old mate, is that cockchafer in bed with you?"
2. "oi sean, me old mate are you gonna be SORE! you're in bed with thunderthighs the old cockchafer

by theWestHamfan December 10, 2003

hole in one

to sexually penetrate a partner at the first attempt

trevor held her down, slapped her face, kicked her shins, and attempted a hole in one. unfortunately for him staffordshire bull terriers don't like this treatment and she turned and bit off his meat & two veg

by theWestHamfan November 25, 2003

incuntinent

a medical condition causing one to urinate instead of ejaculate during sexual intercourse

spicer was getting really fed up with dave. she thought he was taking the piss not realising he was incuntinent

by theWestHamfan December 26, 2003