theWestHamfan's definitions

conger eels and rice

1. a meal that londoners eat on holiday in thailand
2. a bush mouthpiece

1. "oi, bring us a nuvva plate of that conga eels 'n' rice"
2. "and now, speaking from the white house: conger eels and rice"

by theWestHamfan December 4, 2003

trouting

to masturbate using a large fish

george next door got a job in a fish canning factory so he could sidle off to the bog in his break and have a trouting session. he would then sneak the used fish back on to the production line.

by theWestHamfan December 7, 2003

Essex girl

some of the most beautiful girls in the world come from essex

essex girl: "I think i've got concussion."
paramedic: "How many fingers have i got up?"
essex girl: "oh! don't say i'm paralysed too."

by theWestHamfan November 19, 2003

incuntinent

a medical condition causing one to urinate instead of ejaculate during sexual intercourse

spicer was getting really fed up with dave. she thought he was taking the piss not realising he was incuntinent

by theWestHamfan December 25, 2003

cock splint

penis splint; usually consisting of four spatulas arranged equidistant and parallel to the penis, thus encompassing it. this is held in place with a binding of clear plaster.

on her wedding night victoria threw aside the covers and said, "look david, this bearded oyster has never been seen or touched by a man." "that's nothing" replied david, opening his dressing gown to expose his cock splint, "look, this is still boxed!."

by theWestHamfan November 12, 2003

gnomedipus

an unnatural love for your garden gnome

"Hi Alec, what on earth are you doing with that gnome?"

by theWestHamfan October 27, 2003

corn fed chicken

a nubile chinese girl

semayne was rushing home to some corn fed chicken - ah that's why he walks SO fast!

by theWestHamfan January 20, 2004