theWestHamfan's definitions

nine banded armadildo

an enormous dildo with nine horny plates to excite the clitoris and the whole area

kev thought the woman was funny 'cos she kept grinning all the time.
then he noticed what appeared to be a cue case was in fact a nine banded armadildo. "table two please!"

by theWestHamfan January 27, 2004

the snake gambit

a tray of snakes has a hole in the rear side through which the tray holders penis is inserted. the tray holder then invites passers by to stroke the "snakes" hoping that his penis will be the stroked one

when steven wasn't in his santa outfit he could usually be found outside archway tube employing the snake gambit

by theWestHamfan January 26, 2004

love eggs

a pair of hard egg-shaped artifacts usually joined by a cord. they are "worn" inside the vagina whilst walking/working/dancing etc. to give sexual gratification

you could tell Irma had no panties on. she coughed, tripped, and her love eggs shot out and nearly killed the doorman

by theWestHamfan November 15, 2003

meat & two veg

penis cock & testicles bollocks

alec entered the gay restaurant rather apprehensively and took a seat. the waiter minced over and said "would sir care to see the menu?"
"no" replied alec "i really want your meat & two veg!"

by theWestHamfan November 23, 2003

self pleasuring

masturbating oneself

the headmaster shouted "KEVIN! ARE YOU SELF PLEASURING YOURSELF AT THE BACK THERE!"
"no sir" kevin replied meekly " i'm just wanking.

by theWestHamfan December 9, 2003

spew up your ring

to vomit so violently that one anus nearly comes out of ones own mouth

look here Kevin, if that's your tenth donner kebab, you're definitely gonna spew up your ring!

by theWestHamfan November 3, 2003

Aer Lingus

1. Irish airline
2. to give a blow job and cunnilingus at the same time

1. "the british airways flight from nairobi arrives at 15.30 hours."
"the american airlines flight from new york arrives at 16.00 hours."
"the aer lingus flight from dublin arrives when the big hand is on the twelve and the little hand is on the five."
2. colin was enjoying the threesome with his wife and steven when suddenly he attempted aer lingus and dislocated every joint in his upper torso.

by theWestHamfan December 8, 2003