theWestHamfan's definitions

incuntinent

a medical condition causing one to urinate instead of ejaculate during sexual intercourse

spicer was getting really fed up with dave. she thought he was taking the piss not realising he was incuntinent

by theWestHamfan December 25, 2003

Essex girl

some of the most beautiful girls in the world come from essex

essex girl: "I think i've got concussion."
paramedic: "How many fingers have i got up?"
essex girl: "oh! don't say i'm paralysed too."

by theWestHamfan November 19, 2003

cock splint

penis splint; usually consisting of four spatulas arranged equidistant and parallel to the penis, thus encompassing it. this is held in place with a binding of clear plaster.

on her wedding night victoria threw aside the covers and said, "look david, this bearded oyster has never been seen or touched by a man." "that's nothing" replied david, opening his dressing gown to expose his cock splint, "look, this is still boxed!."

by theWestHamfan November 12, 2003

too much bunny

one who talks too much - verbal diarrhoea

"that geezer from beffnal green is o.k" exclaimed francis.
"'cept for one fing" replied candice "'e's got too much bunny!"

by theWestHamfan December 9, 2003

cuntstipated

can get erection but unable to ejaculate

poor old kevin looked down, shrugged, smiled to himself and said plaintively, "blimey, kylie, i must be cuntstipated!"

by theWestHamfan January 9, 2004

tossing the caber

a scottish highlands sport whereby one has to throw an enormous tree trunk as far as possible

"blimey sean, is that 'harry the horse' tossing the caber?"
"nah, it's alec having a wank"

by theWestHamfan December 7, 2003

up your arse

a shouted response to an insult. similar to up yours but stronger.

made immortal by the lyrics of the famous song:- "from stamford bridge to upton park" "stick your blue flag up your arse" "UP YOUR ARSE" "UP YOUR ARSE" "UP YOUR ARSE" "UP YOUR ARSE" "from stamford bridge to upton park" ""stick your blue flag" "UP YOUR ARSE"

by theWestHamfan November 18, 2003