Urban Dictionary: Definitions by the pope

Bass assassin

One who drinks large quantities of Bass ale in a short period of time.

Jamie drank six bottles of Bass, and the night's barely begun, that dude's a Bass assassin!

by the pope June 8, 2004

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The vagina is a buggy, often catastrophically so, feature of the Female Edition of the Human Being version 1.0. After approximately 13 to 16 years of proper operation, the vagina becomes problematic and starts failing periodically (no pun intended) around once a month. This in turn leads to the corruption (often permanent) of the mental faculties of the host. Whenever this happens, the individual in question is commonly referred to as "a bitch."

It is widely expected by pundits and pollsters alike that the vagina will be either entirely removed or fixed by the next release of Homo Sapiens Sapiens. When asked about any current patches to resolve this issue in existing organisms, Evolution clearly stated that it has "no resources available at the moment." In addition, it was widely made known by Nature that the vagina was a design decision "not fully thought-out." As a result, humanity has suffered the devastating consequences, on a roughly monthly basis.

Jennifer is really furious today, and is acting completely incoherently; it must be her vagina again.

by The Pope April 5, 2005

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shirkin' the gerkin

Literally, masterbation (male). As in penis = gerkin pickle. Figuratively, not doing anything constructive. Wasting time, either by your own volition, or by another's. Spending time doing something unworthwhile, or incorrectly.

"You were supposed to be working on the new project, but nothing has been done! What have you been doing the last three hours?"

"Shirkin' my gerkin."

or

"So I'm waiting for Shelly to finish getting dressed so we can go out, and I end up sitting in the living room with her parents, just shirkin' the gerkin for a whole hour!"

by the Pope March 17, 2005

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