texlex61's definitions

malpheasants

1. (prim. def.) Wrongdoing or wrongful acts by certain large birds of the order Galliformes while acting in an offcial capacity.

2. (alt. def.) Wrongdoing or wrongful acts committed against certain large birds of the order Galliformes while acting in an offcial capacity.

Volunteer Deputy Constable (and part-time unarmed sporting event security enforcement officer) Russell Peabody committed an act of gross malpheasants (alt. def.) when he planted some throw down grass-seed-based scat near two colorful male Galliformes in a crude (and disgusting) attempt to justify their arrest (and prompt death by BBQ) pursuant to trumped up allegations of petty malpheasants (prim. def.) involving the unauthorized consumption of a partial ruck-sack of county grass seed from the football field maintenance shed during the local Punnischt, OK, high school's annual trouncing by the visiting "Fight'n Pheasants" from West Lafarge, OK.

by texlex61 January 29, 2009

inattentive to the road's needs

The official reason the chicken crossed the road.

After years of intense psychotherapy, the road's psychoanalyst penned his conclusive diagnosis "the chicken unknowingly committed a grave error, transitting from its permitted location to an unsanctioned area, pathologically and permanently violating the delicate psyche of the highly sensitized patient, because it was perceived as an inconsiderate act and extremely inattentive to the Road's needs. Alas, the patient is destined to be similarly crossed by many, if not most, of those it may expect to encounter in the future."

by texlex61 January 30, 2009

DJT

"DJT", pronounced "didge it", a figurative finger with the characteristic scent of the literal unwashed probe of a gloveless proctologist, which persistently seeks to return to its own rectal comfort zone.

Suddenly, every podunk redneck has a hankering for the DJT.

by texlex61 December 10, 2020

idiomatopoeia

Various grunts, groans, growls, bawls, squeaks, squawks, hisses, purrs, boops, whoops, whizzes, whams, bams, pops, peeps, howls, churtles, chortles, gurgles, babbles, buzzes, and other verbalizations apparently reproducing a sound quality of a referenced thing and appearing to comprise meaningful articulations, but which, in reality, are merely the mindless noises of a complete idiot.

"No class," expressed the 7th grade teacher, Ms. Buzby, when Jeremy makes the "raspberry" sound, it's not a rude example of onomatopoeia, it's straight up idiomatopoeia.

by texlex61 January 30, 2009

income-odious

A wage that is grossly inadequate given the undesirable nature of the task.

Rtrell loudly declined minimum-wage employment debriding the bed sores of grossly obese shut-ins, proclaiming "Rtrell don't scrub no stanky fat ass for no income-odious wage!"

by texlex61 January 29, 2009

ICE-BEV Boundary

The extremely disruptive and messy period encompassing the transition from the era of the internal combustion engine ("ICE") and all of its associated technologies, industries, jobs, etc., to the Elon Musk inspired era of the battery electric vehicle ("BEV"). This period will be designated by future archaeologists to span the 15-year period from 2020 to 2035, when the world weaned itself from petroleum, graduated from the fossil fuel economy, and entered its electric future. Also known as "Tesla Time."

Of those who lived through the ICE-BEV Boundary, the winners were comprised of those who anticipated the change and seized the opportunities.

by texlex61 December 9, 2020

zinged

Past tense combination of "zing" and "singe," where the "zing" involves an insult, which singes (slightly burns) the recipient. Can be pronounced to rhyme with the past tense of "zing" or "singe," just to make it more interesting and to be more consistent (in terms of inconsistency) with so many other words of the English language. Usually, the insult is offered as mild, witty sarcasm or a fascetious comment where the gravity of the insult is relatively minor and the point of zinging it is calculated to achieve only a slight burn.

My daughter really zinged me when she humorously questioned my general ability to be succinct. I have never been more proud!

by texlex61 February 4, 2010